Fight Off

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

outside the refuge,
of the mouse,
who turned the house,
upside-down.

With some cheese,
on a mouse-trap,
that would unwrap,
his skin brown.

And, oh, finally!
there comes he,
so very greedily,
looking around.

Attractive cheddar,
towards it he darts,
and then starts,
the countdown.

In no time he,
meets his death,
struggling for breath,
on the ground.

Struggles are what the world rests upon....*sighs*

Author's Note

Had a vivid dream. Found myself repeating the last line over and over again. So...had to write this. Hope you like it.

Reviews

[Carol Cashes]

"And, oh, finally!
there comes he,
so very greedily,
looking around."

This stanza could be interpreted politically, socially, economically - but then, sometimes a mouse is just a mouse.

I have been writing a lot of "nonsense" myself lately, so I enjoyed this little gem.

I will be reading more of your work as i can during my work day, I usually only have time to pop into the Cafe a few times so the short pieces are perfect.

Nicely penned, Zoe.

[Zoya]

Thank you, Carol! :) glad you enjoyed this little heap of nonsense. Lol.

[Great Aunt Astri]

This is a very profound poem for one who is so young.
You have an interesting rhyme scheme, and a universal conclusion. Well done.

[Zoya]

Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it!

[Sami Khalil]

I love the message and the way you expressed it. Kudos.

[Zoya]

Thank you! I appreciate the review.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome. Anytime.

[Abhishek Asthana]

the moral of the story is great, that we should keep struggling and that's what another name of life... short and meaningful... also impressed with the poetic structure... Very nicely penned !!

[Zoya]

Thank you again! I truly appreciate it

[Ted Kniffen]

It's that time of year. When the weather changes and the frosty breath of winter can be felt, the little beggars start to invade our homes. Nothing a bit of cheddar and a trap can't cure. I've found they really like peanut butter.
Good one, Zoe.

[Zoya]

Haha, Ill be sure to try peanut butter. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Ted!

[Suhd]

It's very good. Especially the last line, holds so much in it. Keep sharing!

[Zoya]

Thanks, Suhd! I appreciate the review

[C. Lee Battaglia]

Incredible poem!

"In no time he,
meets his death,
struggling for breath,
on the ground."

So vivid and clear! it was dark but brought a great message! Loved it!

C. Lee battaglia

[Zoya]

Thanks much for your very kind words. Appreciated!

[KeeD]

You are extremely talented, better than a lot of veteran writers on this site, including me. Keep at it, good stuff!

[Zoya]

Thank you! I appreciate your time and review

[Priyanshi]

This is something that's different from your other writings.I enjoyed it. You have very well written it.

[Zoya]

Thank you, Priyanshi! :)

[Priyanshi]

My pleasure.

[Ghania]

I had a dream about a mouse once. But quite horrifying! ha ha.
This poem is really a good read. So imaginative!

[Zoya]

Thanks, NB! I appreciate your feedback.

[Ghania]

You're welcome, Zoe :P

[Paul Bell]

Did i leave my pet mouse in your house.
The little blight just loves cheese.
Gives a shout if you find him.

[Zoya]

Oops. Sorry if it was him who I caught. Thank you for reading