The Crooked House

My hands are cold, my face is bruised,

My clothes and shoes are torn.

As I have reached yet so far,

On the way that i had sworn.

Carrying only a drawing of,

A crooked house that i made.

After my dreams tested my patience,

Showing me this house, nightly, to locate.

I had the feeling as if,

There was something for me in there.

Thousands of voices calling out my name,

The house might make me a millionaire!

I stand there with the drawing in my hand,

Raised up to meet my eye-level.

As I lower my hand to look around,

The sight of the same house gives me a tremble.

Each step gets me closer to the house,

The same voices filling my ears.

My hands shake as i open the iron gates,

I deem my end is near.

I find myself lucky enough,

To be alive while entering the house.

For I just had a near escape,

From the gates that were forcing me out.

And as I enter the house,

The darkness of hell surrounds me.

I pull myself together and continue moving,

Towards a streak of light which I see.

I finally reach the room from where,

The streak of light seems to come.

Standing at the door in utter disbelief,

Is my reaction to the sight of my dead dad and mum.

Dressed all in white, glowing from head to toe,

They take a step in my direction.

I feel scared and try to move back,

But I'm held in place due to their affection

An inch away from me they stand,

Looking just like angels from Heaven.

I vaguely remember their faces for,

They left when i was barely seven.

In no time my mother starts talking,

In an eerie voice I've never heard.

The lines she says, leave me in confusion,

Since they contain the following words:

"Darling! Good to see you after a long time,

You haven't even changed a bit.

Audacious enough to have reached this house,

The only thing you lack is wit.

Oh, I hope you haven't forgotten about,

The warning we gave you before leaving for this house.

In greed we set off with some empty bags,

At night when you just began to drowse.

We shook you to senses and said:

"We're going to leave you alone for sometime,

Don't worry, 'cause when we return,

You'll no longer wear these clothes of grime.

In case we don't return,

Within the next ten days,

Beware of a crooked house that might,

Lure you into searching for its way."

Now my father begins-''Oh dear, it seems as if,

You were half-asleep when we warned you.

In greed and hunger you've reached here,

What will happen next, you haven't got a clue."

He barely finishes the sentence,

When two hands grab my foot from behind.

They pull me down and take me away from my parents,

Who ignore me and stand there as blinds.

After, what it seems, a year I open my eyes,

To find myself lying on a huge bed.

I see my ghostly parents and beg them to spare me,

When they say in a frightening whisper-"Baby, you're already dead."

Author's Note

I'd like to tell you that I sought the inspiration for this poem from the music video of the popular song 'Faded' by Alan Walker. I just wanted to put forward my thoughts regarding the video so I chose to present them in a rather cool way. The poem also tells that greed is often fatal. I hope you like it. Please review.

Reviews

[Omikron]

It's a very elaborate poem, much like a story. However, I find it a bit lacking in rhythm, I think the rhymes are excellent but the absence of a pattern slightly distracting, and I think that the story would be presented in a better way if there was a more regular pattern. But maybe that's just me, I'm not used to read poems like this.

I truly admire your talent for telling a story in such a beautiful way. Thank you for sharing.

// O

[Zoya]

I agree with you. There is an absence of pattern. This was my first attempt at writing a poem actually. Thanks a lot for the review :)

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Elegant poem!
You have the extraordinary essence of creativity, imagination...
You have the talent to draw people towards your writing and keep going!
One of the best poem I have ever come across, seriously!
No one knows the mystery of after death though as humans, we can assume it!

You've "nailed" it!!! 100 pts to this!

[Zoya]

Thank you so much Tazeen!

[angeleapaugh]

Oh i Love it! It progressed well and left me hanging till i read the next verse......!

[Zoya]

Glad you liked it :) Thanks for reviewing!

[Farhan Shaikh]

Created a very good image...good work.

[Zoya]

Thanks for reviewing Farhan!

[Giulia King]

Created a vivid image :) Very well written!

[Zoya]

Thank you so much Gullia!

[Pravir]

Its just perfect . . . . hatss offf . .

[Zoya]

Thanks Pravir!

[Ted Kniffen]

Well written, Zoe. I like the spooky storyline. Very reminiscent of other horror stories, and yet with your own twist. Good job, keep writing.

[Zoya]

Thanks for the review Ted :)

[Jenny]

This made me think of some of my own writing from high school. You're a wonderful writer, a story teller. That's what makes writing so enticing. You've taken one idea and created a world. Explore poetry. There are so many different ways for you to play with format, and style, to make people read not only between the lines but make a story of their own. Thank you for sharing your writing. I didn't look at your poem as a fourteen year old's poem. I simply read it and enjoyed. You are so talented.

[Zoya]

Thank you very much Jenny for not assuming this poem as a fourteen year old's. It really means a lot...

[Jenny]

No problem ;) keep writing

[Chris A Jones]

Never heard the song Faded. Guess I need to go back and listen to it. The storytelling is great. Disturbing ending. Reads like a fairy tale/nightmare. Overall I enjoyed reading it.

[Zoya]

Thanks for reviewing Chris :)