for the living

cease your orbit, mercury
and gaze up at that void
do you know what you're looking at?
slip out of your skin and check
your heart
beating still, beating fast
you are alive

now certain,
breathe once, breathe fast and stare at
your lungs
inflate and deflate, your ribs creaking open to
invite oxygen in
you are alive

make sure
step down, step fast and watch
your feet
run away and bid farewell, wish them
luck and a safe journey, they'll
send you a postcard
if you're lucky
and you are alive

shout it loud, shout it fast
not once, but twice
you are not lifeless

Reviews

[dan]

At once subtle but decidedly fast, this declaration of life ("here I AM") tries at once to declare the intentions boldly but not with any hint of arrogance. A heady balance is what the piece seeks to establish; this is not to say that a message is to be made in a subtle way; the gist of the declaration is to be understood without feeling forced, a strong but gentle message, well delivered. A very accomplished piece of writing, well done....You are on my friend's list and I am negligent in reviewing your work. Please send me read requests and I will guarantee a review. I love your work like I did when the friendship was originally established. take care....dan

[I Am Svetlana]

True, we are not lifeless. We must live through each day to understand our worth. I love the astrological journey :)

[Calliope]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, your perspective is much appreciated. I'm glad you loved it. :)

[Bear]

Bravo! An astrological journey of live, what a great prospective with so many quotable lines I won't bother to try. Smartly written, strong imagery and great depth, it was a pleasure to read, thank you.

[Calliope]

Thank you so much for the read and review, I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed it.

[Demii]

"breathe once, breathe fast and stare at
your lungs
inflate and deflate, your ribs creaking open to
invite oxygen in
you are alive" This part is my favorite ! Good piece .:)

[Calliope]

Thank you, that's one of my favorite parts as well!

[Demii]

you're welcome !!

[Sami Khalil]

"invite oxygen in
you are alive

make sure
step down, step fast and watch
your feet
run away and bid farewell, wish them
luck and a safe journey,"

A splendid poem in all aspects. I like the style, too ...:)...................

[Calliope]

Thank you for the review, I'm glad you like it!

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome...:).......