FORGOTTEN

FORGOTTEN

The picture of me in
your eyes has faded into
the melancholy of black and white.
The love therein locked away
in the gaze of another.

You’ve closed the shutters and
chased the sun from my sky.
The world that persists
bleeds monotony.
The colours run and hide
in the gray you left behind.

My springs no longer bloom,
the summer afraid to show its face
through the darkness and gloom,
while the autumn leaves
cascade in sadness, and
the snow never wakes.

I’ve died in your dreams.
Now the memory of me wanders
the chasm of your sub-conscience;
forever trapped, unwanted.
I’ve been forgotten.

Author's Note

Awarded 2nd place in the following contest:
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Group-Contest/11806/

Reviews

[Zyria]

The third stanza is very powerful. While the poem mentions all of the seasons, the only one that even exists anymore is fall, "while the autumn leaves cascade in sadness." I found the line symbolic of falling out of time and place; the narrator no longer has a purpose for he has been forgotten. Powerful.

[Brad]

there is so much yearning in this it bleeds from the page.

[Lovely Lady]

whew! I could not have express the lost and replacement of love the way you did. You are my hero!
~

[Brianna Brie]

I’ve died in your dreams.
Now the memory of me wanders
the chasm of your sub-conscience;
forever trapped, unwanted.
I’ve been forgotten.

Awl...this is so sad. Nobody wants to be an unwanted, forgotten thought. Especially by someone in which you care deeply. Nicely expressed!

[Crowley]

Thats a hard thought to wake up to but very well written my friend. Not much in the way of illumination here as all of the lines were necessary and well put without over emphasis. The last line makes me want to vomit....too sad. Nice job.

[.]

that is a sad and melancholy piece..it's is really well phrased and you have given it the emotional pull required to connect with the reader..loved the last stanza especially..great work

[David W Moore III]

Such deep sorrow. The seasons even weep. The colors run away. Deeply felt.

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

i love the way the outburst of emotion of sadness was put in this poem....good job!

[Bubo]

Such deep sadness when love is lost, and they are with someone else...........like being trapped in a photo, the memory haunts.Beautifully written with great emotion.

[Ladysue]

This is phenomenal writing...the images so precise. deep and amazing...A perfect and beautifully written piece...

[Robin]

you have expressed this very well .