COLLECTION OF HAIKU II

hai-ai-kuu

LOVE PUZZLE-BOX

A heart pried open -
Defusing intricacies
of the love within

COLD

Sedated to feel -
Mask uncovered blank stone eyes
screaming apathy

ILLUMINATED

Enslaved by the light -
Radiance filling my soul
kindling my spirit

VENUS LUSCIOUS

Memory of you -
Enticing against my mouth
a heaven’s blossom

Author's Note

Thank you for the feedback should you leave any and tell me which one you like the best.

Reviews

[Hellslastwarrior]

COLD
Sedated to feel -
Mask uncovered blank stone eyes
screaming apathy

I like the best personally, it calls out more to me than any of the others and it also reminds me of Lord of the Rings when Frodo looks into the dead eyes of that corpse and its white but you can think of all the thoughts and emotions that that dead person may have had.
Good work again mate- keep it up.
Ted.

[~~~~~]

Haiku is the most challenging form of poetry to me outside of Sonnets. The short form seemingly hinders the creativity of a writer but on the contrary the structure challenges one to punch through the compressed form without losing the impact or desired effect.

Love Puzzle Box and Venus Luscious are my favourites though all of them are meticulously well crafted.

[TAO]

Feedback... Let's see... Abstract - we like this... Favorite stanza:

ILLUMINATED
Enslaved by the light -
Radiance filling my soul
kindling my spirit

Now you are Illuminati, truly, with this stanza... Well written, and deeper than Tartarus.

[Natalie]

I really can't choose between COLD, ILLUMINATED, and VENUS LUSCIOUS. Sorry....great haikus. I love haikus, one of my favs :D

[Desert Dreamer]

I like COLD the best, although they are all well done, this one has the most mystery to it, makes me think the most.

[ShaneBerry]

wow! this is a perfectly worded haiku! i havent ever been able to make one that has meaning! great poems!

[Brad]

like the Venus one...i'm amazed at the haiku artists around here...i've always hated haiku until i came here...thank you

[Geralyn Miller]

Wow, haiku, that is a rough form to work within; I envy your ability to find the gem in the rough stone matrix and cleave it out, uncovering the gleaming treasure.
My favorite is the last one--perfection.
Haiku is a form every poet should try; it teaches you to find the gold amid the dross.