My imagination has been
running wild.
I had no choice but to run and hide.
Too shy to engage,
knotted in an emotional twist;
I seek asylum amidst the ink on this page.
May my emotions keep me at bay
and let me bestow the words gently
on this bed of ashen white.
Frighten my insecurities
and chase away the seldom
spoken words from my mind,
laying dormant inside;
expel them from my infinite thoughts
and strike romance upon the canvas.
Let sincerity imbue the letters with emotion,
let them embody my devotion.
I am in every breath you
breathe,
in every word you read;
caressing your mind
as thoughts run through your head.
I weave words like silk threads
into the fabric of your body and soul.
You succumb and ignite a colour so bright, so…
This parchment screams the colour red!
Red like the passion in which we bathe,
red as the tip of Romeo’s blade.
It invades your very core with feelings of love,
leaving you wanting more.
You are no longer just another;
you are my Venus de Milo to adore.
I hope this message reaches you and remains true,
for it sends adoration from my soul.
Winner of the following contests:
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Free-Verse!!/11561/
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Send-me-your-soul/11113/
Awarded "I Reread this AT LEAST 3 times" in the following contest:
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Spoken-Word/11745/
Awarded 3rd place in the following contest:
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Love-Poems/11835/
My Review
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Amazing devotion, and a sharing of emotion in the form of words divine. It doesn't matter how secretive we are with our feelings, they always find a way out with words on a blank page. We find our comfort in writing them down and then touching the hearts and minds of our readers.
It's an amazing poem, flows very beautifully and touches the right spots. I can't give it any less than 100%, and make it a favourite :)
mmm so gorgeous.. softly lilting, with what is a real core of honest hope for love's reciprocation.. and a definite sense of trepidation it might noe be
this line:
I seek asylum amidst the ink on this page
Took me a while sorting through my read requests to finally hit this gem, and I'm glad I made it! This piece is absolutely wonderful. So many great lines woven together to make a fantastic poem. I bow to your skill....very nice work, as usual.
Your silent yet plaintive plea is like soft ripples on the ocean. The words are gently and sweet, rock gently to shore, and whisper in the wind. I like how you imbued your words with emotion and sincerity, striving to echo in the soul of another.
Man...I can't count the number of great lines and moreover great thoughts the this piece produces. There is not a frayed edge, a rough corner, or a hiccup to be found in the flow of it, it is as smooth as the smoothest peanut butter. And I say peanut butter because i got mired in the words and wanted to stay for a while and wallow around. This was some writing prowess...I loved it.
This is a great example of how love can be conveyed through poetry without mawkishness and repetition but with artistic integrity and style. The fabric and colour metaphors are rich and thick like a painter's oils, and the rhyme is chosen well between the prose, only taking occasion when the time is right, pushing the idea and imagery deeper into the imagination. This section of lines in particular justifies the whole point of poetry by itself:
"Red like the passion in which we bathe,
red as the tip of Romeo’s blade.
It invades your very core with feelings of love,
leaving you wanting more.
You are no longer just another;
you are my Venus de Milo to adore."
...Any poet would be proud to have produced those lines alone. Excellent work.
Very imaginative and provocative.. yearning to become one with another to a level almost subliminal (if you have ever been really close to someone.. it's like knowing what they will say next and finishing their sentence.. being really in tune). Your words:
Let sincerity imbue the letters with emotion,
let them embody my devotion.
Is this not the love for poetry and true words of a poet??? Venus De Milo is a fine scultpure and you did a great job sculpting this tribute to what must be a tremendous muse.. Awesome writing that is full of passion!
"I am in every breath you breathe,
in every word you read;
caressing your mind
as thoughts run through your head.
I weave words like silk threads
into the fabric of your body and soul."
{God!!! I love this--so sensual-i just close my eyes and can feel it}
"You are no longer just another;
you are my Venus de Milo to adore.
I hope this message reaches you and remains true,
for it sends adoration from my soul."
I wrote something similiar a few minutes back...This poem has a lot going on,it is very dynamic and your words aim to coerce on your muse's mind'.I seek asylum amidst the ink on this page' :),how many times have we tried to find solace in our words,and almost always we do find comfort in our and sometimes others words.You write this as a note to your loved one,it is very sincere in its essence.How you end says it all 'an adoration from your soul'...:)
Poignant,evocative.
The name is Ivan - I'm 31. I am originally from Bosnia and Herzegovina. I left my country in 94 because of the civil war. After emigrating, my family lived in France for 2 years before coming to Canad.. more..