LOSING HOPE

LOSING HOPE

The little hope in me is about to bleed,
Castles in my sky are falling down,
Replaced by bitter, ominous clouds,
My aspirations crumbling to the ground.

I do not know how, I do not know why,
It matters not, for my tomorrows
Wither away, drowning in sorrows,
Corrupting the air, screaming goodbye.

The garden that flourished my ambition,
Has been deprived of life; turned to stone,
All is dead and gone, but one lonely rose,
Shedding its petals as it wistfully groans.

Suffocating amongst the woeful weeds,
Losing sight as pain pierces my eyes,
Succumbing, as the fight in me dies,
…The little hope in me amply bleeds.

Conquered and beaten, my garden is ruined,
I hug the cold barren ground in relief and doubt,
Searching for comfort where none can be given,
The little hope in me is all bled out.

Author's Note

Awarded 4th place in the following contest:
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Poetry-Contest!/11408/

Reviews

[~~~~~]

Have you ever read The Garden by HP Lovecraft? If not may I suggest you do. Your piece reminds of this because of its intense, profound imagery. There is a lot of raw emotion interlaced throughout. I like how the first line is reiterated in the last as if to stress the chronology of that tad bit of hope one desperately holds onto before it completely extinguishes leaving one bereft, void.

[zogzog]

very good flaw....this i have to admit i'm kind of lost for words because it is so reflective to me in so many ways....probalby one of the reasons why i like your poetry so much....

[.]

Wow! i loved this, i thought your very last paragraph really stated it all.

[Chuck]

I love your last stanza, the imagery is fantastic "I hug the cold barren ground in relief and doubt"
Amazing. You are a fantastic writer!

[Snapdragon]

I love the metaphors in this. It's an emotion that we've all felt at one time or another. The hopelessness and loneliness is hard to take and harder to write about and share. Thnakfully the feeling always leaves. You've done a first class job with this.

[lavina k.]

Awesome one showing some true colors of life........!!!!!!!!!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

"The little hope in me is all bled out."

Such poignant and resounding words to end your poem. It's the final punctuation to your poem of losing hope. I can almost see the ink blot on the screen, as though a final tear from your weeping pen.

Linda Marie

[Crowley]

Man...this is Russian Winters in Siberia bleak. Very powerful and seemingly very desperate, while I read this I found myself wanting to reach out an save a drowning man. If I was going to try an write something depicting my complete and utter depression and frustration...I would have to hire you, cuz I couldn't do it this well.

[Awdures]

I knew I was going to enjoy this read before even starting it. Powerful and hopeless we all feel like we are barren lands at times. Life has a funny way though of throwing us that patch of earth fresh for regrowth. We all have our fair share of doubt, and I know I've certainly been where there is no light to be seen. But we raise ourselves up and life continues.

A heart wrenching dance in the darkness Ivan. Your talent is unstoppable

[c.m.]

I think we can all say "I feel your pain" and it never be true. So let me say, I can empathize, not completely identify. But this is an amazing piece...

[Coyote Poetry]

Hope is what we must hold on to. You create a sad scenery and a opportunity for no road to find peace. A powerful poem. The words were strong and the ending was very good. A excellent poem.
Coyote