The little hope in me is about
to bleed,
Castles in my sky are falling down,
Replaced by bitter, ominous clouds,
My aspirations crumbling to the ground.
I do not know how, I do not
know why,
It matters not, for my tomorrows
Wither away, drowning in sorrows,
Corrupting the air, screaming goodbye.
The garden that flourished my
ambition,
Has been deprived of life; turned to stone,
All is dead and gone, but one lonely
rose,
Shedding its petals as it wistfully groans.
Suffocating amongst the woeful
weeds,
Losing sight as pain pierces my eyes,
Succumbing, as the fight in me dies,
…The little hope in me amply bleeds.
Conquered and beaten, my
garden is ruined,
I hug the cold barren ground in relief and doubt,
Searching for comfort where none can be given,
The little hope in me is all bled out.
Have you ever read The Garden by HP Lovecraft? If not may I suggest you do. Your piece reminds of this because of its intense, profound imagery. There is a lot of raw emotion interlaced throughout. I like how the first line is reiterated in the last as if to stress the chronology of that tad bit of hope one desperately holds onto before it completely extinguishes leaving one bereft, void.
The little hope in me is about to bleed,
Castles in my sky are falling down,
Replaced by bitter, ominous clouds,
My aspirations crumbling to the ground.
Awww mate dont ever loose hope- the quality of your writing is amazing... Good job...
Have you ever read The Garden by HP Lovecraft? If not may I suggest you do. Your piece reminds of this because of its intense, profound imagery. There is a lot of raw emotion interlaced throughout. I like how the first line is reiterated in the last as if to stress the chronology of that tad bit of hope one desperately holds onto before it completely extinguishes leaving one bereft, void.
I really like this poem I'd say it's perfect! Everything you explain is wonderful talking about losing hope and describing the feeling, and torn feeling of desperation
Wow I could really feel the hopelessness in this poem. It was so emtional and deep. I liked how in the last line some of the stanzas expressed how your hope looses blood. Beautiful poem.
.Each section was an amazing lovely piece * the portraying of the insides through scenery * i had a movie of a sad war in my head and a spark of sadness in my tummy * very nice * 100 rating.
Very sad. Love lost is such a torment feeling as though all the color has gone out of your world. "searching for comfort where none can be given" How true,how futile?
The name is Ivan - I'm 31. I am originally from Bosnia and Herzegovina. I left my country in 94 because of the civil war. After emigrating, my family lived in France for 2 years before coming to Canad.. more..