OCEAN'S THE WOMAN THAT IS YOU

OCEAN'S THE WOMAN THAT IS YOU

A Poem by FlawedByDesign

OCEAN’S THE WOMAN THAT IS YOU

Woman of fashion draped in blue,
erasing footsteps in the sand.
Seducing toes with lapping waves;
caressing earth in your expanse.


Sun adorns your indigo face,
glistening heaven on the skin,
as light-rays penetrate the soul;
revealing the secrets within.


You dance on the songs of the wind;
twisting, breaking to the rhythm
of roaring currents in your breast,
as your pearls echo ocean’s hymn.


Many have ventured to your heart,
lost in the waves of your desire;
in the abyss of coral reefs,
encompassed by deepest sapphire.


Wash me over with your sea waves.
Embrace me in your mystic blue.
Let me sink to depths of your soul;
I want to feel you through and through.


Graced by soft cerulean robes,
breathing turquoise of the sky’s hue;
I give in to your warm embrace.
Ocean’s the woman that is you.

© 2010 FlawedByDesign


Author's Note

FlawedByDesign
This is in response to Linda Marie Van Tassell's "The Ocean Is A Woman" which can be found here http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/linmarvan/331042/

After reading her piece I was inspired and she was gracious enough to allow me to write a poem akin to hers using a different structure and rhyme scheme.

***PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ BOTH POEMS BEFORE COMMENTING - This poem is not meant to be better than the original, but I hope it is a worthy companion to it :)

Winner of the following contest:
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Poetry-Makes-the-World-Go-Round/11602/

My Review

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Featured Review

This is a very good companion piece to the originial poem, written with wit and skill. The good flow makes it all the more enjoyable. There are many great lines to quote. Needless to say, I really enjoyed reading this poem, and, as I have had the privilege of knowing the inspiration behind this write very well, I can safely say that it does justice to the poet's intention :)
Great job once again!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Linda Marie Van Tassell's "The Ocean Is A Woman" and your poem make a very elegant connection towards the end. I find V.Tassell's work very inspiring - it adds so much beauty to itself by comparing a mere ocean to a woman. Yours is fine work, it reflects your inspiration. A great response. Kudos.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was very beautiful I enjoyed reading it. Such passion and I had the image in my head, nicely written :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Many have ventured to your heart,
lost in the waves of your desire;
in the abyss of coral reefs,
encompassed by deepest sapphire.

Such fine lines. A very photographic & wonderful piece
of writing.



Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The ocean is beautiful. Only way we can describe the great ocean is with woman and her beauty. I'm a great fan of the ocean. The poem description and detail made your words come alive. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

Posted 14 Years Ago


Ivan,

I am honored that my poem inspired you and even more so that you took the time and energy to write a companion poem.

I think you did a much better job of personifying the ocean as a woman in the physical sense as your descriptives are very tangible. I think my poem focused more on equating the ocean to the internal emotions, love, spirit, et al of a woman. Combined, both the spiritual and the physical are joined together. While distinctly different from one another, the two poems compliment one another nicely; and I personally adore the juxtaposition of the female and male perspectives, the masculine and the feminine.

Linda Marie Van Tassell

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's beautiful

Posted 14 Years Ago


i've just read the other piece (as instructed - shock of all shocks, i sometimes actually do as i'm told! ;))

i love the inversion of her poem into yours, like a kernel within a kernel.

you've managed to capture that same fluidity, but in a style that is all yours, and an unmistakably masculine voice.

i have one favourite stanza:

"You dance on the songs of the wind;
twisting, breaking to the rhythm
of roaring currents in your breast,
as your pearls echo ocean’s hymn."

just so lovely..

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a very good companion piece to the originial poem, written with wit and skill. The good flow makes it all the more enjoyable. There are many great lines to quote. Needless to say, I really enjoyed reading this poem, and, as I have had the privilege of knowing the inspiration behind this write very well, I can safely say that it does justice to the poet's intention :)
Great job once again!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1089 Views
18 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 9, 2010
Last Updated on October 20, 2010
Tags: poem, poetru, ocean, woman, you, blue, sapphire, indigo, cerulean

Author

FlawedByDesign
FlawedByDesign

Stratford, Ontario, Canada



About
The name is Ivan - I'm 31. I am originally from Bosnia and Herzegovina. I left my country in 94 because of the civil war. After emigrating, my family lived in France for 2 years before coming to Canad.. more..

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