CATASTROPHE IN THE MAKING

She's left me for another man. I was too late, I shouldn't have let her get away; without her I am as good as dead...

CATASTROPHE IN THE MAKING

I want to say I love you
But I am lost for words,
So much so, that it hurts,

Spellbound by your beauty,
Lost in your eyes,
You’ve intoxicated my mind,
Caused my heart to cry,

My emotions drown in tears,
Leaving me with only fears,
Extinguishing the light inside,
The love I once had has died,

What is a man without love?
I refuse to know so strike me down,
Let me fly with angels above,
Let me forget the here and the now,

But can I forgive and forget?
Live on, never show my regret?
My inner self is already dead,
Devoid of reason, conscience has fled,

Maybe I was too late,
Shouldn’t have let you get away,
You are my soul-mate,
I cannot continue this way.

The bridges we built will fall,
Crumble to the ground, one and all,
The paradise we built on love,
Will shatter the skies high above,

And as our paradise implodes,
Our feelings bleed onto the floor,
The world as we know will corrode,
Nothing will matter anymore,

Our story ends,
So I guess I’ll have to die.

Reviews

[Awdures]

Again you do this love and loss style impeccably! I think the aabb here works really well and accentuates the style and rhythm and feelings that you are evoking within the reader. This deserves no less than 100% because of the strength of hopelessness running through it, and the articulate way in which you push it over the internet all the way here, and still make a woman cry lol...again... I'm going soft in my great age!

[Abdul Aziz]

This was good. I think the poem was slightly off color in the beginning, but you began to find your poetic groove as it progressed. There is nothing wrong in this poem per se, but I think it could have been better. I loved this passage a lot, though :
"The bridges we built will fall,
Crumble to the ground, one and all,
The paradise we built on love,
Will shatter the skies high above,"
It is very poetic in its earnest approach.
Good job.

[c.m.]

The bridges we built will fall,
Crumble to the ground, one and all,
The paradise we built on love,
Will shatter the skies high above,

And as our paradise implodes,
Our feelings bleed onto the floor,
The world as we know will corrode,
Nothing will matter anymore,

That is truly amazing. The entire poem just radiates sadness and loss, the emotion was just poured into every letter you wrote. I applaud writers who can give that much emotion. Wonderful piece...

[Molafvt]

Wow dude, you couldn't have hit the target any closer to center as you have here. What's that old expression, "been there, done that"? This prosaic warning screams with the truths we have all known when "love" turns to despair. It also has a prose feeling about it, structurally and reminiscent of the "personal essay" genera, particularly when you question yourself in those few stanza's, looking for your inner stability, searching for some sort of solution to your grief. To me this is an act of brilliance. allowing the reader inside of your thought process as "Paradise" began to crumble. As painful as this could have been to read, having been given an "audience" with your mind in the midst of a personal devolution made this piece surreal,not to mention palatable. This is a powerful piece of writing Ivan. Well done dude.....!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Sadly, if ever you loved this way and suffered the loss thereof, you would not die. A lost love leaves a thumbprint on your heart. It never goes away.

I love the ending imagery of paradise shattring in the skies above and bleeding your feelings onto the floor. You emote without going over the edge.

Linda Marie

[FeliciaS (Poetic Prince..]

Interesting the way I wish my husband would fight to keep our narriage, yet, he doesn't even want me. Where did I go so wrong?

[Ashley.M.E]

this is a really sweet poem. Well done.

[Adelia Alighieri]

It's so lyrical, instead of reading I think I was singing it.
Great going.

[R E Tree]

I simply enjoyed the rhyme in this, it really drawed my attention. The 4th stanza caught my eye the most. I love how you question yourself it brings out your style. Reading it down to the lest stanza brings a feeling that everything is worthless no matter what you do nothing will stop the world from ending. I think it is brilliant to use your feelings to affect the reader in your writing. I think you did a wonderful job