ESOTERIC

What kind of world do you live in?

ESOTERIC

I live in an abstract world,
theoretical, not practical,
difficult to apprehend,
gray and make pretend.

Apart from the concrete
and fairly incomplete,
lacking intrinsic form,
hypothetical at the core.

A rotten vague abyss,

many not know exists,
infused with rancid sin,
this emptiness I live in.

Author's Note

The poem is meant to be read without much pause to get the most out of the flow and the rhyme.

Awarded 2nd place in the following contest:
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/2-meanings./11796/

Reviews

[Awdures]

I enjoyed the internal rhythm and rhyme scheme in this poem and felt it added potency to the overall message that you were portraying. I think it is the fact that we express ourselves and emotions intelligently in words that makes us right. This was an exquisite if not painful example of loneliness. Excellent work once more. Thank you for sharing.

[Dream Weaver]

I enjoyed this and yes without pause.
Great piece my good man......

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This poem is so in sync with random thoughts I've had recently ... struggling to reach the shore, sinking beneath the weighted emptiness of life. While I typically don't practice the feeling, every now and then it rises to the surface, giving birth, like a lotus, to the saddest, loneliest, and most emptiest of thoughts.

I'm an orphan in the world; and often, an orphan to myself.

I don't concern myself with the world as much as I do with feeling like a piece of driftwood in an ocean without end.

Your poem has intensity and the sharpness of a blade.

Linda Marie Van Tassell

[miSS LEaf]

it's very neatly written, which helps much in creating the hollowness that has been described in a powerful but elegant words as:

" Apart from the concrete
and fairly incomplete,
lacking intrinsic form,
hypothetical at the core."

That's a brilliant stanza... well done ~L

[J.Black]

Brilliant. Sure I had to read it quite fast, but I still managed to enjoy it. Especially the last stanza.

[zogzog]

awesome poem ivan...this really says to me a very real reality in a very abstract
form....kind of scarey too if you think about it....

[lyssilou]

i really think it is deep

[Liza]

sinking into emptiness - how ironic yet so true!

[Breezie Kae]

This is a great poem, a common theme but very uniquely and well-put. You're very good at rhyming, by the way. haha. I don't like the last stanza quite as much as the first two, but it's still good.