Welcome
to my stage; now showing a one act curtain-raiser featuring a lifelong
performance. A show that has it all: comedy to keep you rolling on the floor,
drama that will make your eyes pour. This is my stage, my show, hence my title
role. You will not be disappointed! I promise to give it my all. I’ll flood the
stage with my heart and soul; you will be screaming for an encore. So with
little a due, I give you myself.
The
impersonator extraordinaire, I hide behind a nervous scare. My epilogues soar
as you begin to roar. I feed off your energy - you make me ignite. Everything
in my world feels right; for a moment. For when that moment comes and the play
is done, I retreat to my somber chambers and become undone. The pseudo-me
you’ve come to love and cherish, must now perish.
Every
night a part of me dies, my other self built on pretend and lies. I cut myself
and peel layers off of me. Each layer a stage persona I’ve worn for the day;
pieces of me I rip away. This ritual is tearing at my core - I don’t know if I
can take much more. I chase it all down with thoughts of bane to numb the pain,
moments before I step out into the rain. May this rain wash away all my sins
and tears, for tomorrow, I shred my skin and watch myself disappear all over
again.
The poem is written in paragraphs as opposed to stanzas as it's supposed to be read like a story. I've written it with flow in mind so it should be very smooth :)
My Review
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it's tragic how we lose our originality due to public's expectations. . . which is why the concept of soulmate is so appealing to me, in the matter of how i and the person can be honest with each other; peel off our masks and just be the best of ourselves. . . though the idea seems to be surrealist, it does make me wonder if i should become my own soulmate?
there are some great lines in this (prose) poem; like: "for when the moment comes and the play is done, i retreat to my somber chambers and get undone. the pseudo-me you've come to love and cherish, must now perish." great sentences! i like the opening, too, enjoy this writing very much ~L
Ahh what a stunning piece.. You made the walls of ourselves fall within. The act we all bring forth, shedding our skin. I so love how your imagery comes forth in this. The original way your words sprouted. Oh yes, this was fab!!!
This would make a mind blowing story. When I first started reading this it felt like a speech to me. The beginning was welcoming to the reader also giving reader comfort to show your not the sort of person who keeps things hidden in thier lifes. The second stanza is like a mixture of emotions mostly emotions of anger. I thought it was well expressed. Poetry is a good way of letting your emotions out it wouldn't sound good without powerful emotions. Your emotions are true and powerful it makes your poetry impressive
This sounds like the barker at a circus announcing the acts of the day. But aside from the obvious and the prophetic, this is a telling piece of how we all are only a temporary "refraction" of what could be. It is an honest and collective telling of the many faces we wear in public and the truth which exists in the darkness of privacy.
"I chase it all down with thoughts of bane to numb the pain, moments before I step out into the rain. May this rain wash away all my sins and tears, for tomorrow, I shred my skin and watch myself disappear all over again".
If there ever was a poem which perfectly describes the condition of the race-this is definitely the one. A wonderful expose of the human condition. Well done Ivan. If only the average person could see what you see and feel what you feel. What a wonderful world that would be......!
The concept is very original and genuine, I must say. I'm a big theater fan myself and I absolutely loved reading how so many definitions were covered up so artistically. Great work, one of my favorites.
I can't imagine anyone reading this and not feeling it. If a poem should "just be," this is it. It is a part of each of us, and it rings as true as a bell. We may not have all been able to write it, but it's something that we all feel at one time or another.
"The pseudo-me you’ve come to love and cherish, must now perish."
...love this line...
and...you really purveyed the mood in the last part-and
i like the format(in paragraph form instead of verse)-
i thinks this poem is expressed very well:-)
" May this rain wash away all my sins and tears, for tomorrow, I shred my skin and watch myself disappear all over again.'
...i love the hopeful tone to this line:)
...this is a really superb write!!!
I love it:-)
LOVE this.. it reminded me of a seedy, slightly frightening sideshow barker, pulling in the culls for the next performance. ever read ray bradbury? say.. Something Wicked.. or Dandelion Wine? yeah that kinda slick, well-rehearsed spokesperson...
This is good. I have one similar, though not nearly so profound.
You described well the day do day challenge of keeping up appearances just so we can protect who he really are.
Our "core" can be so much more fragile than we wish to believe and can scream out in pain. Yet, somehow we manage to put on enough layers to convince everyone that we can take on the world with one hand behind our back.
The name is Ivan - I'm 31. I am originally from Bosnia and Herzegovina. I left my country in 94 because of the civil war. After emigrating, my family lived in France for 2 years before coming to Canad.. more..