____ Another year, Gosh ____

____ Another year, Gosh ____

A Poem by __Flaw__
"

Well, definitely not a haiku...tried but aaghhh...am not an expert so!!!

"


Everyone had the cake


He lives another year

 

I need to puke

 

© 2008 __Flaw__


My Review

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Featured Review

Hahaa, I've just read all the other reviews. You have everyone guessing about this one. I guess we can all put our own interpretation on it and never really get to the bottom of it! I loved the kind of short and crisp kind of shock feature of this.....it was good!

Yes I liked this little piece,( not cake! ) of writing lol! Didn't seem like a very nice cake at that, if everyone had to puke after it!!

Seriously though.....add a couple of more words here and there and make it :

1st line 5 syllables

2nd line 7 syllables

3rd line 5 syllables ~ Then you have your Haiku my friend!

Know it all aren't I? Hope it helps! rotfl

KIndest regards

Helena :) :)

OH......AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

As Helena said above, ...short and crisp kind of shock.....
Yes, that's it. And that is good of course....
It was also slightly provoking....which is what I like.
Attempted Haiku:
B

Posted 14 Years Ago


I don't know why I chose this piece to read, but I'm glad I did. For some reason it just cracked me up. I don't write Haiku's. I just loved the short bluntness of it. lol. You have a sense of humor, and I like that. Rain..

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

5~7~5..........ah an almost Haiku. And an interesting one at that.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

who were you trying to kill? haha j/k! i like the tongue-in-cheek coyness of it, and i normally hate haikus but this is very nice and different!

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

awwe, how sad,, now come on now, birthdays are not so bad...

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hahaa, I've just read all the other reviews. You have everyone guessing about this one. I guess we can all put our own interpretation on it and never really get to the bottom of it! I loved the kind of short and crisp kind of shock feature of this.....it was good!

Yes I liked this little piece,( not cake! ) of writing lol! Didn't seem like a very nice cake at that, if everyone had to puke after it!!

Seriously though.....add a couple of more words here and there and make it :

1st line 5 syllables

2nd line 7 syllables

3rd line 5 syllables ~ Then you have your Haiku my friend!

Know it all aren't I? Hope it helps! rotfl

KIndest regards

Helena :) :)

OH......AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well, that's simple.
But it gets the point across. (:

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It is not a Haiku but it is cute.
Love All, Mejasha

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

LOL Happy Birthday! and I know, I often feel the same way. This cute and quite creative. I enjoyed ....

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Reading other people's comments only adds to this piece. At first I thought wow he really doesn't like that guy very much. Wishing he would just drop dead already. Sad to say that one person comes to mind when reading this one. It could be like one of those funny birthday cards perhaps with a picture of puke on the front. lol Thanks for entering my contest.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1629 Views
15 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 5, 2008
Last Updated on May 1, 2008

Author

__Flaw__
__Flaw__

Cyprus, kinda..., Turkey



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