____ She's Life ____

‘Would you hold my hand and escort me? '

He was asking as if he didn't know the answer.

‘Would you hold my hands, would you? '

And it was still silence.....

How could she? She couldn't, and she won't. Holding his hands while he's in such a misery, she wouldn't dare. So what? Let him sleep, his eternal sleep? Let him vanish from the face of this planet just like millions of others? Only this time, he's a little close to her and much closer to eternity than her.

She saw a glimmer of hope fading , fading just like the light of the sun fades when it's about to go down. His hope, his only friend that had been with him regardless of his endurances, his misdemeanors, his fortitudes and struggle for survival, his friend, as she sees from a distant land, is about to say farewell, farewell to his master, to his host, to his friend.

Alas, he's all alone now. He looks in the smothering light, suffocating breath and beneath his deep hollow, tarnished eyes, he's all alone.

Is this his destiny? Was this ever destined to be his end? He looks in the past but, to no avail. How come he's in this catastrophic, appalling emotional misbalance? He seeks answers from his long forgotten past, but, he's left with no clues, no signs, no hints, and neither any trace of it.

He had been in this situation since hours now. Unable to move, breath, sleep, say, eat, drink or even think. Yes, the most private property of any human, weather living, or dying, is his thoughts. But, he cannot even control his thoughts now.

Drug gave him life. And mischievous efforts were on his side....as always, he had dodged his fathoms, he has deviated his end....only to fall in this pit of anxiety. In this gloom, sadness of nature's terrible fixture called as human nature.

He asks again....

‘Would you hold my hands, would you, can you... can you please?'

But alas, the time goes on and his wish never comes true. His wish......

A dying man's wish.....a man with no limbs, no joints, a disorganized figure, rambled man. He's under a ton of concrete, crushed like an insect, yes, he thought, an insect… an insect would be the most prodigious abbreviation explaining his mortal trenched self. Yes....he's by all doubts of human phenomenon ... an insect.

She's still standing by his side. She's crying now. Her tears are not new to her, but, her tears are not meant to be shown. She has wept in shadows of conclusions, the treacherous barren landslides of human desires. She has cried, Oh yes she has. She has wept and screamed like she had suffered the same. Only, she is never at the receiving end. Never ever.

Slowly she approaches that incoherent body, and puts her hand on his, what was supposed to be his shoulder. The man, although with no conscious, tries to smile, and this makes her stutter. That man...how could he? How could he!!!......and she waits.

And after a while, which looked like a thousand light years for the man, bearing this unbearable pain, the sting in his soul; he looks in those eyes, those shiny, watching, sad eyes. She smiled in return, as there was nothing much she could have done besides that single gesture of charity, and in one instance there was light everywhere. Light, that never ending hope has returned in his eyes, in his lifeless eyes and he goes away ... goes from the woes of his self ... forever.
 Who knew death would be such an unconfined resort...

Who knew death would be such a freedom...such a luxury…such an invitation.

Grief has taken over her smile, and rivers of tears begin to flow. She knows, sometimes even she’s helpless. She still weeping over those, who she knew want her the most but she cannot. She's not allowed, not now, not this time...so she waits....and cries.

And she's not any one else....she's not a stranger to us....friends....

She's life.

She's Life... unable to hold his hand.

She's Life...unable to give him what he wanted; she thought it was best for him.

She's life.

And she still weeps...she still cries...she still mourns.

She's life…she's life...she's …

Reviews

[An Ordinary Woman]

I don't know why but this reminds me of "The Jilting of Granny Weatherall." Have you ever read that by any chance? This is only similar by the fact it is about Granny's death, but more about her life from her POV as she dies.

This writing _Flaw_, is brilliant absolutely brilliant. You have a way of reaching deep inside and touching thoughts and fears and making them bearable. I read in one of this reviews that you've said your not a writer?

You are mos def a writer, never say that again.

[Sel Whiteley]

Wow, this was really powerful. The story and the narration gave the feel of magic realism, one of my favourite genres. The suspense was incredible. The ending was fantastic, so emotive and powerful, Thank you for sharing.

[Dawn Davis]

WOW how powerful I loved this its a piece that even though its soo sad is such a good piece that must go on!!!!!!!!!! Wonderful my friend wonderful!!!!!!!

[Pema Dorje]

Beautiful ... confliction and realization wonderful ... Love is a wish fulfilling Gem and when two Hearts are drawn by this Love even Creation bends to bring them together ...

[Brianna Brie]

You got me. I had to keep going to the top to read it again, because I thought it was life. In some places it seemed to be life, and in others it seemed to be his lover. Great play with words. Really liked this writing.

[Touché Armada]

You said you were not a writer,,, have you ever confessed to being a liar?
Because, you my friend are most definitely a writer, yes, and what's more haha you know it =D

This makes me think two ways, the first is literally she is life as in the air we breath and all we do and all we want and need from life, that's the obvious.
And then it reminds me of the perhaps soul mate chased down to the final hours and finally found, only to have to let go again.
I think she is a real she, a person perhaps many people, but to each person just a single other person, the one some would say haunts their dreams, that one, just one some spend their whole life looking for, and perhaps to find her or it can be turned and be him also, but in this case her, and found in the twilight hours and then leave, checkout with a peace..

Did I tell you I have a nursing background? I'm not sure if I did. Yeah well anyhow, yes. I spent some time working for western mercy hospice, which is basically a service that is provided for people who want to go home to die, yeah sad topic death, more so for the family than anyone else. I had the most terrible nick name for 6 years, oh yeah, the angel of death all the hospice nurse get that nick name, just lovely, it took 6 years to finally burn me out, but when I did damn what a crash, actually I did literally crash yep on the drive home one night, not my fault, and no one too badly hurt, but I did tell myself that was enough, I had enough, I kind of became really placid and passive after that stint, it was what drove me away in the end, the grief, the ability to hold a persons hand during their last breaths and see the comfort on their face, even a small peaceful grin, and pull the covers up high and warm their cooling body and just sit quiet, and if they opened their eyes, just a few quiet words, that I was there and it was ok, it was ok, kind of funny because how would I know really, I couldn't know, except they looked ready and at peace, and perhaps that's the best sign there is. But oh the family could never calm the family and to be whipped up in that, my god, well sometimes life lets go, but I cant help thinking its never gone, but then perhaps that's an adjustment I had, but I will always believe its never really gone, and I will never forget those families, I still remember names and faces from years back, all gone now, but I still remember clear like yesterday, and all the people I ever worked along side of, they also remember just like I do... This write reminds me a little of those people and all the nurses I have known and who I have been.
And the wanting to hold on sometimes, but knowing you can't.

[Middagslapie]

Amazing! Never thought of life this way... I guess we all must come to terms with it one day. Tis almost like an epic. Two lovers... the one dying yearning for his love to reach out for him one last time, and in the end... alas! twas life all along.... so preciously described in such beautiful words...

[Celtic Cat]

This is heartbreaking! I love it. Personifying life was a neat trick! Then, reading it again with that knowledge was great. So sad, so sad. I can feel the pain coming, but also the relief at the joys of breaking free. Very good write!

[April Child]

Oh wow, I was guessing until the end... I was wondering why she wouldnt hold his hand. This is great, sad but also beautiful. Very good story, got a few grammatical errors, let me know if you want help with those :)