A Silent Film To Say I'm Sorry

Hey baby, I thought I would write you a note.
So I stared at a blank page but I only saw your face,
you didn't look very happy at all, you were sitting on your bed
ripping your favorite stickers to pieces.
I tried to tell you I was going to write something for you,
and that I really hoped it could fix everything.
You didn't pay any attention when I asked if you were listening.
I searched and searched for the magic words,
hoping I could glance religion in your reflection.
I tried to get close enough to hold onto you,
crying in your sleep you threw away your hands.
Just like that I had nothing left to hold.

I opened my eyes for a second to find the same white space,
and your tear drops hadn't stained the page,
and I didn't hear the glass shatter from your fits of rage.
I sat down to write you a poem, something that says I'm sorry.
But I could only sit alone in the auditorium,
watching while you mouthed the words "Best seat in the house",
over and over and over again.
I saw you dance in the dark across the stage to a single chair.
You sat cross-legged, nearly nude with closed eyes,
taking no time for simple strokes, you painted me.
With only a black pallet, you ignored my cries for red.
Instead, you flung confusion at the canvas,
while you dripped the little care you had left.
Letting X's act as eyes, but taking time on the lips,
you fluffed my hair, made it just the way you like it,
and you knew I wouldn't like what you had to say,
so you forgot the ears on purpose.
You stood up, and fixed the strap on your all black dress,
took a step back and set fire to the world you created.
I watched the flames rise as the landscape burned.
I could smell the pine from when we walked in the woods,
and taste the salt from the trip to the beach we never took.
As I watched every picture you didn't get to ever draw die,
the curtain close without our bow before the paint could dry,
I could feel the heat and see your mouth move, but I couldn't hear your screaming.

And I opened my eyes, but there was only a few scribbled lines,
that must have been where I had started screaming, I don't remember.
And when I saw you again, you were lost in pitch darkness,
You looked the same but I could tell that you were scared.
I called your name again and again, Lauren! Lauren! Lauren!,
and I remembered you couldn't hear me anymore.
So I did the only thing there was to do, I locked the cage.
Closed the box and lit it on fire, so that now you could find your way home.
And you weren't scared anymore, because it wasn't dark anymore,
and you didn't see me burning, and you didn't hear me screaming.
Which is nice, because I never quite learned how to scream.
I burned and didn't die till you could see the house,
and I knew that with or without me you were gonna make it.
So I smoldered and turned to ash , and I only hoped that you weren't afraid,
for the last 500 feet you had to walk alone.
When I opened my eyes again, I had written a single word.
                         Sorry
It must have been all that I could manage.