The Succession

A grave conversation.

 

 

 

Our footsteps halt’d at a freshly dug grave,
a skel’tal hand clasped my shoulder.
Death hissed ‘twas tired of being life’s slave,
hence its name replaced mine on the boulder...
... and I harvest’d my first dying soul.

 

 

Author's Note

Flash poem - tells a story in five lines or less.

Reviews

[Ashley Campbell]

Wow. Wow is all I can say. This was absolutely amazing! And the image went so very well with it. I must admit, at a glance my first thoughts were "Not another one..." but this quite impressive.

"... and I harvest'd my first dying soul."

This, in my opinion, tells so much about the narrator. But it also leaves one with many curiosities. All and all I loved this. I'm a fan and creator of the dark and morbid literature, and this piece of literature is quite pleasing.

Very nicely done.
Silver Wolf

[Dave Lounsbury]

nice work, I'm interested to read more in the future.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

A foreboding tale in so few words. Excellent work.
Light,
Siddartha

[Kara Emily Krantz]

oh man, that's deep and dark. i really liked it! it was a unique piece for me to be so intrigued by :)

"Our footsteps halt'd at a freshly dug grave,
a skel'tal hand clasped my shoulder."

loved the way you broke up the words like that - with halted and skeletal. at first i was like eh? and then it flowed really well :)

"Death hissed 'twas tired of being life's slave,"

this was harder for me to read - i guess the way you had death his that he was tired, but it read differently at first - maybe put a pronoun in there? no that wouldn't work either. i had criticizing without offering a suggestion, lol. maybe it was just the way i was reading it, so early in the morning ha.

"hence its name replaced mine on the boulder...
... and I harvest'd my first dying soul."

chills. great job. i've never written a flash poem. you did a wonerful job with this :) and the picture just added that little delicate touch :P

hugs

I like it! Dark, Deep. It reminds me of how when someone is overcome by grief they wish to trade them places and also of how it is the natural order of things ( Everything leaves this life.) Great work!

[Mountain Dawn]

I like it. I want more!