Sept 29th -Nov 23rd 2008

September 29th of 2008
A day to some is a day of no note.some days though despite reason or person has its own light.a light that shines to make all the other mundane days pale in comparison.
Sept 29th 2008 katherine elizabeth tucker -medley was born shining her own light into the world.this is my telling of her little big story.i can only tell how her story molded me.
i remember the mid wife asking me to cut the cord and i shook my head vigorously but still cut the cord.they moved my daughter than a table to suck the bile from her one nurse set to task another saying to make extra care for "what if it was your daughter " i heard her say still in awe i could only nod.
I remember smiling to joanne my fiance at the time and being so much more in love.Love's the biggest crutch we have it makes you blind but without we cant be human.
Thats the importance of that day to me im sure you gathered.some know my daughters story some dont some of it i dont even know.this though is my telling of it.
Sounds perfect right katie made three kids for joanne and me.my step son ralph my son will and now katie.soon to be married we would of made a regular american dream.
Perfect as it may sound i used to question is this what im supposed to do.blue collar family man. yes it is but at the time only being 22 still felt like i had so much more in me to do.
Yes i was another young dumb kid having kids.i took alot for granted because you never think that in a mere breath everything can be blown upside down.
November 23Rd of 2008 a day that has its own light for some of you.I cant tell you what happened except for what i have been told and what i know to be.th things 7 yrs later i still see.
Alot of it is blurred memory when it comes to the people in the later days.we'll rewind 12 hours though so i can start my part of her story.12 hours of nomalcy to me at the time.
I lived in a home with my little sister, joanne and her sister theyre dad my mom who at the time was in jail the now three children and my mentally ill cousin.all of us in a 5 bedroom house joanne tending the kids me working 40 hrs a week as a cook.
The day went by like any other i slept most the day because i had just got off working 9pm to 7am.the boys running back and forth as i readied to go back to do the same shift again that satirday night.
Joanne cussing about her dad not able to help her by putting two pot pies in the oven for the kids.i had to go i kissed katie her the boys and ran out the door.now when i tell you this story especially the next bit.
I did not fabricate to look more compelling.glam it up for that extra bang for you the reader.no tho already 50 typos and counting im writing this so maybe u can find peace. maybe you can call me POS. maybe you can see what i didnt see before its all you can see.
Everynight i worked i called home at 1am in the morning between the rush and than agai. At 3am after the rush.that night though i questioned is this really where im supposed to be.Married was the real question katie now less than 2 months.i didnt call even though it was particularly slow because i was having too much fun playing Egyptian rattail with friends.
Never live in would of could ofs because if i did i wouldnt be able to live the call being no1. Finished the night got paid in the morning and made it home about 830.sundays i would katie up in the morning and stay up all day to fix my sleep schedule only to mess it up again come wensday.
Walk through my living stpping over a child gate into the kitchen walking down the side hall past the bathroom into my room.Joanne snapped up out of bed and told me not to wake katie she had just got her to bed at 6:30.
I stripped my uniform and walked past katies bassanett not even looking in it not wanting go jinx it and wake her up.i climbed into bed cuddled joanne and fell asleep now usually if this happened all former plans of staying up all day would be ruined.
Now if you count theres 3 should ofs though usually i would of slept all day mad i wasted a day off but i snapped awake at 10am only sleeping an hr.still i didnt look in the bassanett. my dad came and got me took me to buy the usual weekly dose of diapers i bought a box everyweek now with katie it was 2.my dad and i also started on christmas buying.
That out of the way i went to my weed mns house and played nba 2k and than nba live debating which was better.....2k but thats neither here nor there.now i make it back home at about 1pm i took stepson out to play for an hr.
Oddly enough just me and him alone having had enough fun i brought him back inside after an hr and decided now joanne should be up too i went and woke her up on this normal sunday i was having.i broke down a blunt and she acccdently kicked me and jumped up worried she might of spilled the weed still normal we talked of things bad dream she had.
Her dream she had been hit by a car still i had not seen katie having been in and out the house now 5 time in the day.i geuss i am one of the biggest oblivious person.i sat down on the couch and looked thru the doorway that ahowed my bedrrom door and hallway and saw joannes dad head into my room.
As he enetered i thought to myself "let her sleep" and he burst back through screaming "joanne how cuould you "bundle in his arms i cleared the child gate joanne already in the bathroom me and dave reached her at the same time as he head out my daughter.
Eyes closed marks on her face i snatched her from dave and the rest of the world was one hundred pounding pumps after the other thundering in my ears.i fumbled through my pocket as dave slung the boys in his room locking them from the sight my sister crying in the kitchen.
I made it to 911 screaming my daughter isnt breathing the 911 operator told me calm down ma'am .its ok to laugh about i do now she then instructed me in cpr and with in that 5 mins joanne had slit her wrist and the emts police and fire man were there and i stood up dragged away from my daughter and hit my knees in prayer( PART 2 TO BE WRITTEN)