Double Helix

converge upon spiraling goals

streams of hope made of incarnations

 

mingle swirls of scants, blended whole

descend on curve in iterations

 

not all will serge with precision

macro vision beholds clarity

 

ascend those with just decision

propelled by choices of charity

Reviews

[Tony]

So far, so good. I have read two of your rather spiritual poems, and nary a mention of steeple or saint.
Andele!!

[Anthony M Smith Jr]

Nicely written poem! The words flow and shows your depth of understanding. Reminds me of something I am working on. Once I was in a cave and when i come out to the surface my eyes took a while to adjust. Anyway just rambling on. Life and Light!
TT-TTO-NI-K
Elk

[Phibby Venable]

not all will serge with precision

macro vision beholds clarity
My favorite lines...I enjoyed the thought process of the
entire piece.

[Ed Hart]

it takes all my brain cells to just begin to glimpse the curvature of your mind, whose helix come in pairs, like shoes and pants

[Dinesh Sairam]

First thing that pricked my views was the rhyme scheme (xxaa?). I don't think that worked. If it was unintentional, I suppose you change either 'clarity' or 'charity' :)

Next, in the first two stanzas the imagery is monotonous - 'Spiraling goals' and 'Swirls of scants'. Also, to some extent, 'Made of incarnations' and 'Blended whole'. Build a wide-spread imagery for the readers to roam on.

Other than that, I had to say, the whole poem was quite confusing. Though I understood some bits of it.

A very fair write. If you improvise it sometime, please do tell me.

Keep writing.