Threshold

Hospice poem

Spirits set sail on boundless seas

as ships of age rust and fail.

To give love and hope are two keys,

essence of heart will prevail.

 

To die completes what birth begins,

singing songs in quiet tones.

Nearly spent candle starts to dim;

recall old refrains with moans.

 

Steadfast to pray and then persist

brings “thank you” to withered lips.

Smiling eyes with kind looks desist,

into heaven the soul slips.

 

 

 

Reviews

[a]

Death always accompanies us.
Good penmanship, although I find it a little bit cliché, but...
but this writing has its voice, and style, it has a classical quality to it,
and it's far more enjoyable in your performance than thousands of others such writings I've read.

Your visionaries are great, metaphors - light and imaginative.

But, if may I suggest one thing, I'd say you could (maybe even should) change the title for it sets and ugly paralelism with the lightness and gentle depiction
of images in the poem.

Thank you for this!

[miSS LEaf]

it's a sad story of one's leaving the world, but heaven sounds like a nice place to go..

thank you for sharing your poem :) *L

[R J Askew]

I am in a 'slap me with something' Friday night mood. I am looking for words to turn me on, just grazing here. I did not think a hospice poem wld do much for me in my present mood. But it did ... I read to the end and 'withered lips' struck home. 'Boundless seas' and 'nearly spent candles' seem a little obvious references to what we all face. But the 'withered lips' I found a profoundly human touch and could see them clearly. Once they were kissing lips, but not now. Hope helps.