Threshold

Hospice poem

Spirits set sail on boundless seas

as ships of age rust and fail.

To give love and hope are two keys,

essence of heart will prevail.

 

To die completes what birth begins,

singing songs in quiet tones.

Nearly spent candle starts to dim;

recall old refrains with moans.

 

Steadfast to pray and then persist

brings “thank you” to withered lips.

Smiling eyes with kind looks desist,

into heaven the soul slips.

 

 

 

Reviews

[a]

Death always accompanies us.
Good penmanship, although I find it a little bit cliché, but...
but this writing has its voice, and style, it has a classical quality to it,
and it's far more enjoyable in your performance than thousands of others such writings I've read.

Your visionaries are great, metaphors - light and imaginative.

But, if may I suggest one thing, I'd say you could (maybe even should) change the title for it sets and ugly paralelism with the lightness and gentle depiction
of images in the poem.

Thank you for this!

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

the good form of this makes each word ring true like a bell from the wise.

[.]

. you are a poetry specialist, that's all i can manage to say after reading this breathtakingly beautiful piece of poetry ...

[deeps]

This is so wonderful and ever so beuatiful, such an enjoyable read.

[Ed Hart]

you put a little more zip into it than I do, making it a more fun read, I think...

[David Lewis Paget]

Nice to see someone writing in rhyme and metre, though the metre here is a little 'chunky' if you don't mind me saying so. As an example of this I quote - 'Nearly spent candle' which is a bit hurried in comparison to the overall metre. I like the overall message, though 'Essence of heart will prevail' is a little vague in meaning. I really like the last line...

[Constance-Outspoken]

The flow here is flawless, satisfying, and one is left with a succinct feeling at the end of the read.
I really enjoy the theme, and you've expressed it as well as it can be expressed.
Wonderful poem with wonderful imagery.
Thank you for sharing.
C

[Ferg]

Angels of mercy, ushering people into death with dignity and kindness.....you write beautifully

[Phibby Venable]

so heartbreaking, but written with such peace and dignity.

[kewlbluetiger]

Pretty meaningful write here. The word choice is really soft and kind with a feathered touch. Really loved how the first stanza set the framework for how one should live. Love the ship imagery. Just really faithful and comforting through-and-through. Thanks for the great read!