In Spring

 

crocus pop forth through snow traces

robins appear while winds yet sting

hopes of warm days cheer dour faces

to smile, laugh, whistle and sing

 

lightness of heart strikes up a song,

tulips and daffodil blooming

melted away, winter so long,

so smile, laugh, whistle and sing

 

buds, trumpets of prelude appeal

soft breezes emote playful flings

fresh air restores gusto and zeal

to smile, laugh, whistle and sing

Reviews

[Nath]

Great poem.
It is amazing how spring can warm not only the earth and restore life where there was none, but also restore one's spirits.
Your poem reflects, in my eyes, this simultaneous development very well.
With its uplifting tone, I can very well imagine it as the song that is sung and whistled.
Well written!

[Jonathan Ballam]

I won't lie to you. I do love the spring time, although I dont' always like to use the words everyone else does.

This is a great idea although the words 'blooming', 'gusto', and 'zeal' are lazy words. I say this because they either symbolize a greater concept (with out you having to explain which facet of it you're refering to) or they seek to throw in big ideas into a small atmosphere.

For example what part of 'gusto' does the air restore? Is it the fact the the soft breezes come to a halt? Or do the trumpet sounds make the air fresher and more faster moving? Also gusto is an empowering, energetic word, which doesn't follow too well after breezes and 'playful[ness]'.

Take the word blooming as another example. Would it just be more logical to use the word 'burst' (which is a short and more finite word)?

I still like the concept of this poem, I just think you may have to re-think your word choice in future.

[indu]

beautiful like the spring :)

[Carlton Lloyd Smith]

I really like this one, Jim. Is this a particular form, or did you just enjoy the repetition in the last line. It works well.

[Brittany]

Very beautiful. I'm reminded of Whitman. I'm not usually a fan for rhyming schemes but you definately have a flair for the flow. This piece was very vivid and playful.

[Ed Hart]

and other things...

[Christina May Shanaberg]

This is such playful, light, and airy poem; it put me in a springy mood, for sure. It read easily to me; I am not a lover of complicated poems, where you have to really try to figure out just what the writer is trying to say. I think you did a terrific job of glorifying spring!

[Gandré]

I loved here the freshness, it was almost like scent of flowers the air, this had style and it was a genuine surprise after my long winter.

[Tina Kline]

Very spring like, with lots of hope and really beautiful too. A very cheerful light positive poem. I really like it.

[deeps]

This rocks I love this.
So wonderful and beuatiful.