Windward View

Tactile

Windward View

 

in prayer’s humble petition

as sails depend upon the breeze

Great God, tame or move the air

when storm strong or wafting tease

 

howls of white blast in blizzard

gentle gusts flutter warm caress

fickle moods that none control

source of pleasure and distress

 

fragrant lilac scents flow in spring

camp wood smoke drifts when lazy

fog rolls in and out, then melts away

summer drafts cool days hazy

 

to see flags flutter with a flap

to hear a rush whip swirling by

to taste floating salt of ocean mist

to face stiff blows from blackened sky

 

woo-woo to whisper even crying

wind songs echo human emotion

gives or takes as both foe and friend

sweet greeting or stirs commotion

 

element of sense and essence

swished over and fanned around

gives pause to stop while savoring

natures serene whistle sound

 

Reviews

[theludus]

You have a great ear for connecting words together that sound lovely. Where this falls down for me a bit is in the syntax. In places it's more like the stacking of sentences that are related, rather than the composition of poetry as a whole. In this respect some of the inversions, that fit with the prayerlike tone, make me wonder if it was easier to place the words that way rather than solve the puzzle. Perhaps this is harsh, but I think your work is strong enough, that you should make syntax a priority. Still, lovely sonic qualities and theme.

[deeps]

This is a beuatiful write I enjoyed this.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats a second time on your great winning poem!

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your great winning poem

[Amber Nicole]

Another lovely poem. You really do have a way with words. I just wish you'd use more punctuation and period and comma usage. It would flow so much better than it does now. But still a good read.

[Matthew Paul]

Wow James. You have a magical gift with your flowing words. I very much enjoyed this poem.