This pain

 

No one should  ever feel

This caving of the heart

Glass shatters, scrapes the veins

That bleed an internal pain

 

No one should ever feel

The bluntness, the coldness

Off a dull blade that rips

A heart from a fantasy

 

My eyes hemorrhage

By the thought of suffocation

Pull me with your adhesive tongue

While my heart is in desperation

 

Please, lay me down

Here at your bed

And when I’m sleeping

Nail my hands over my head

 

                And she laughed while I bled

                And she danced in the red

                All the time when I wept

                Blind my eyes with her sweat

 

Stitch by stitch now I thread

While my tears hide in the rain

So I sew, un-numb, un-loved

un-strung

and un-feigned

 

No one should ever feel

This pain

Reviews

[Heavyhearted]

although this poem is about pain it flows very smoothly. its strength lies in the strong imagery. i can relate to this in so many ways, it scares me a bit. great write.

[laceyjane23]

wow! this is incredible! "my eyes hemorrhage by the thought of suffocation, pull me with your adhesive tongue while my heart is in desperation." WOW that is a great line, you truly are an excellent writer!
laceyjane

[Ms Jessica Renee]

Such a work of literature... you can almost feel the pain as you read. Beautifully done my dear and believe me, pain like this is not rare in my own life.

[Janice Ann]

Wow, the images that flow from this piece is amazing. This makes my body hurt to read this...but what a wonderful descriptive poem...fantastic! Great write sir! Great write indeed.

Janice Ann

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

This poem is very powerful with it's discriptions... It's very emotional and it flowed quite well.... Your images were by far some of the best on writerscafe that i have read... This speaks such truth... if only no one had to feel that pain... The thing about pain is that it reminds us we are still alive... when in pain we know that we will heal... it may take time but eventually we will heal... This was very good.... Great Job!!

[free2bee]

This was vivid description of the emotional pain we can sometimes feel when hurt by one we love. I enjoyed it very much, you have a gift. Thanks for writing.

Karen

[Heidi Hallucination]

i love the ending no one can feel true pain

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Whether this pain that the narrator feels is mental or physical, it doesn't matter because you made it so powerful and deep that either way the reader still feels and hears it through the solemn tone and the interesting words you chose to use in this piece. I think the most impressive words you used reside in the first and second stanzas when you described the feelings of pain.

I personally favor the fourth and fifth stanzas. In my sick mind, they hold double meanings: literal and terrible pain inflicted to hurt or kill or a serious case of sadomasochism. ;) lol Thanks for sharing this! I really enjoyed it!

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

[Kara Emily Krantz]

love that ending.

this is really quite painful, quire desperate and raw.

" And she laughed while I bled
And she danced in the red
All the time when I wept
Blind my eyes with her sweat"

that was my favorite part.

where did this come from? definitely ripped this out from beneath your fingernails

hugs

[Wildfleour]

Jason - This was probably my favorite piece of yours, to date. It is incredibly powerful and well-written. I am sorry it comes from such a raw and painful place. :(