She knows

 

You can hear what he waits for. Along the coastline he sits as the waves crash and spray salt water into the spring air. Looking out, he sees the rolls of the ocean and nothing more than wide open space. Seagulls scour the more shallow water as a soft breeze blows from the east. He smells the air. Hope. The tide is an incoming tide. It reaches out to the dry trampled sand. Where once there was footprints, now become smooth and seemingly untouched. Foaming bubbles as the water retreats, gathering up steam for the next crest. Images of her cross in front of him, like the sand that blows off of the dunes. Then she disappears, back into the beach where the memory of her was born. He exhales while sitting with his knees up, arms resting in front of him. He smirks into the wind. When? he mutters. He picks up half of a empty hermit crab shell, looks at it and brushes away the sand to expose the spiral shape. His eyes shift focus back to the ocean. One last look at the shell before it is thrown heedlessly towards the water.

 

She knows what he waits for…

 

Nighttime crept in over the Atlantic as his shadow grew longer and then vanished into the sand. He had always felt that there was a certain mystique just before dusk. Just like the moment before sleep when sight grows dim and it can be difficult to see a path. Hazy, unclear shapes and designs and shadows appearing at the shoreline. A feint memory of her, dancing in the moonlight. He starts his walk down the beach. There was just enough light to mold imagination from the dark. She's there with her back to him facing the waves. The moonlight forms an outline of her perfect curves and her wind tossed hair in the sea breeze. Ounces before the stars become the prominent light fixtures in the night sky, the blue tints fade into the bleak dark black and she blends into the final breath of dusk and into the other side of his heart.

Reviews

[Enigmatic Amor]

Jason,

I am a good person to ask to review this, you are at the same place with your writing that I was. Way too much detail about time and space...not enough actually happening. I used to paint the most beautiful backgrounds, the world around my characters was so complete, the reader never had to add anything with their imagination. It makes it beautiful...and boring for the reader.

Just go read my "Power Struggle" if you need proof. Its the longest, most boring, most beautifully rendered world, lol.

Hon, you have talent. I can see you are writing about missing her, about love, about loneliness. This piece is all about introspection. Beautiful thoughts. This would be better served as a poem with 1/3 of your beautiful detail.

Thank you for asking me to read it. I hope you take my words with all the kindness and sincerity with which they were written. *hugs*

[V.R.S.C.]

Jason,

You have received many reviews telling you you have used beautiful imagery and that you are lacking in depth of story. Something that always helps me looking for the question my writing is asking and seeing if my work answers it. I get feelings from this piece, but I am left with many questions.

[Wildfleour]

Jason - For me, this is like a vignette of a possibly longer story. Much needs to be filled in, or conversely left out.

I love your imagery and do not find it boring. I just sense there is more to be told. Or less! :)

[Carole]

I would love to see you work this into a story Jason. This is very well written and holds the readers attention. :-) Just a thought...Mesmerizing!

[Dani California]

Jason, this is fantastic! Oh my, such vivid imagery and so brilliantly laid out. It captured me from the beginning and held me throughout. I felt the character's pain and could see through his eyes. I was actually disappointed that it ended...

I should be buying you.... ! Awesome talent.

[Mercury Mirrors]

O.O The imagery!!! It's awesome as always. This is so going on my list. Very very good job. :]