As was she like the storm

Some reminder stuff about the ex...

 

She stood before me

Listless, mindless,

(Near faceless)

Shadows crossing her eyes

Like passing clouds

Graying a sunny day

 

The grass withered

As the light dulled

The soil; parched

-unquenched and sullen

 

Though there was no rain from the skies

There was no shining shafts of radiance

Only darkness,only death

Only tension and shortness of

breath

 

Silently moving across the horizon

-No words from the bruised clouds

She waits for the dying

And the whispers to fill the sounds

 

A clap of thunder!

Lighting appeared

As my soul shattered

And the rain began

The sky left laughing

As my heart

Washed away with the storm.

Reviews

[justjenn_2u]

I love the format of this piece. The font style pulls the reader in.

I vision a woman who seems like she has no soul left, as if she has no conscious any longer. Seems as if the end of this relationship was so gloomy and she changed into a person the writer never knew.

Nice choice of words, I could feel the emptiness!

Good write!

[SM Davis]

SUPERB IMAGERY HERE! I love the format of this...it goes right with the theme of the poem. Very well done indeed.

[Babbette Francis]

"A clap of thunder!," in big black letters?... Genius!!!
Hats off to you!!! This is awesomely haunting!!
Love it!!
All of it!!

[Kelley Pascoe]

Man I really liked this one Jason! I like how you changed the colors and size to bring more emotion into the poem. I see we have alot in commen when it comes to writing and music.
Kelley Frost

[Wildfleour]

A cleansing........

[Cece]

first a flash of light
then cymbal of thunder
the rest of the poem is flawless
love the use of the metaphors
perfect images in my mind
to hold me reading to the end
this was music in my mind

[Kelly Scheppers]

Ex's certainly supply us with an abundance of inspiration, and angst! Nicely done...

My best,
Kelly Scheppers

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

I, also, like how you played with the layout to annunciate certain areas of the work. She seems to be so cold-hearted and uncaring - taking with her all the beauty of the world. Sorry for that feeling - but I can empathize. Well written for sure. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha