Silhouettes (Part I, The Dream)

 

These lights have never been so dim before. The curtains were draped with an even trim, as soft shadows danced in the bedroom. Lamps shades faded to a color of navy blue, as the light shone through the silk kerchiefs she had placed there earlier. Her silhouette etched in my imagination, as she was a dream I once had. (She had appeared at my doorstep and at the moment I had let her in, the horrible shrill of the morning clock awoke me.) I had loved her much like I loved that night, knowing she was there, but never really seeing her face. Smelling the air, sensing her presence. I remember every breath that night. Every breath. A sure harmony of air between us, as she breathed out, and I breathed in. As the stars lined up with the movement of the moon and the shadows of the spring trees reflected off the curtains, we were synchronized with our love. 

 

Awakened in the morning by the words she spoke to me- “I love you.” Simple enough. As though these were the only words she had said, she need not proclaim anything more. Words did not need to describe this type of love. Words could poison this beautiful air that had held our love. Simply, “I love you.” I responded just the same. Yes, my heart did seem to beat more at these very words of love than the act of love the night before. However, It did not lay all in the words though. Her eyes. In the light they reflected all the memories that would come. The walks on the beach admiring ebbing tides as they crashed along the shore. The cool nights along side a crackling fire in the hearth, the glowing embers, breaking and snapping the bark of the wood, emitting a warmth that brought us closer. In the dark they resembled a forest just before the break of dawn. Fresh, with dew glistening off the blades of grass. The sound of morning doves and the soft footsteps of the fawns as they scurry back into the woodland on a  spring morning . Her eyes. Her eyes. As if they held all the images of spring itself.

 

She had found me. We had found each other. Many nights through the many seasons have passed without ever knowing that such a love existed, I wonder how did I ever live? My thought about love that preceeded this night was that of lost hope. Many woman (girls) would cross my heart with less of a clue of the way in. Perhaps I have grown in that time. Perhaps all trials prior pointed to this path in which I was settled on, quite nicely I might say, with the love of my life, leant against me as we admired the morning sun peaking in, as serenity and intimicy wash over us. I could not dare to think past this moment, as it was perfect. But, I troubled at the thought of the road that led me here. Just as the rivers widen during a storm, my experience had trying times...

Author's Note

Still a rough draft of part I

Reviews

[justjenn_2u]

The introductory paragraph is filled with wonderful imagery. The mood set just right with vivid descriptions of the setting. To look into the eyes and see so many dreams and aspirations possible is the beauty of love. A part of life's journey could be complete if this dream were true. This story has so many wonderful possibilities. I definately enjoyed reading!

[Constance]

You captured the emotion here with intense, lucid word-painting.
"She had found me. We had found each other. Many nights through the many seasons have passed without ever knowing that such a love existed, I wonder how did I ever live?" You accurately describe the feeling of finding one's soulmate. And yes, I know what that feels like, so I know what I'm talking about. So, apparently, do you, whether you've found her or not. Well done.

awww, sounds good! It's all very sweet and the emotion in it is intense- well done! :) xx

[Glamorous Eyes]

Favorite line was "Yes, my heart did seem to beat more at these very words of love than the act of love the night before." from knowing how this feels myself. I got so caught up in reading this, cant wait till you write more.

[Jesse F Hayes]

This was a brilliant read. It really grabbed my attention in the first few sentences, and held it for the entire time. You have a way of stringing words together that is sometimes magical. My only real critique for this piece, is that sometimes your alliteration gets the better of you in your wordsmithing. I tend to read in my head as if it were being read aloud. You have magnificently painted imagery through out almost all of the piece, but a few groupings seem like maybe you were trying to hard. I watched American Idol tonight, and Simon told the Irish girl she 'oversang' something when she didn't need to. Don't try so hard. You have a very natural melody to your words.

Love it.

[Jayne Ann Saporito]

This is so full of the promises of new love, with the realization that life moves on, and love changes over time, but how spiritual this writing is!
. Fresh, with dew glistening of the blades of grass. The sound of morning doves and the soft footsteps of the fawns as they scurry back into the woodland on a spring morning .

Those lines alone make my imagination swirl! I hope you are writing more!

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Dude, this one really hit me in the pile of warm ashes one would call a heart. :( This is a very lovely story; so very romantic and, in the final paragraph, it had shown a touch of reality. Thanks for sharing. :) I had an excellent time reading this really neat story of yours. ^^

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

It is such a love story.. so intimate and so beautiful .. i love the way you described her eyes... this is a bittersweet read , well written..

Chloe
xoxo

[~crazy Beautiful~]

this is breathtaking, I am left speechless.
Your soul is read openly
i can see your colors and they are beautiful
i can feel the emotions, the love
every word
brilliant