The guillotine

 

The men in the dark drab that was draped on their large frames stood over me as I knelt. They bound my hands behind me, as did my ankles. Staring into a basket of blood I began to make my peace with my god. Praying for strength, hoping for eternal life. The crowd, full of bystanders; (hypocrites), stood as they gawked and moaned with there children at their sides. I could hear the woman under their dainty, frivolous voices, “Oh my, what a horrible man. Surely he will pay the price in hell.” I snarled at the beguiled statements and I maintained as I waited. The smell of the spilled blood reminded me that ‘guilty’ was a much stronger word than innocent. I knew, as the rows of sinners amongst sinners stared in at me, waiting my fate that the real truth hid behind the eyes in one of them- That they held my true fate. Not the blade that looked down from 10 feet above the nape of my neck. Not the man in the black robe, holding the rope, holding my last breath in his hands, patiently waiting the word on when the truth, the injustice; may drop down upon me, ending my freedom. The truth had indeed been kept inside of a gasp of the true criminal. For he would have to exhale, sooner or later, and let his breath be the symbol of the corruption the law has laid onto me. Yes, truth be told, whether my head lie body-less in a wicker, with a clean cut at the neck, severed from my shoulders, or if I was to walk upright once more, my chin held above my feet, attached, as I breathe in the free air. It would be any minute now... The dark dressed figure would make his apology as I held him with no fault as he is doing his job. The blade, now was held higher as the moment would come to be soon. I thought of my childhood, the innocence of youth, how it was to walk into the fields of dandelions and make my way to the babbling brooks for fresh water, unhindered- and a callow young boy. And how my mother would call me in for di

 

 

THE END

Author's Note

Please read part II, which isn't really a part two as much as it is a different perspective

Reviews

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

Amazing piece of work.
It really put me in the old days when they would use the guillotine.
My favorite part is how you described the crowd because it was like that in the medieval days. Someone who was your best friend would be at the front of the line to see you die.
It is really interesting and it makes me wonder what happened to get this man here and who is the real criminal? What happened to him?

It's great. It makes me want more.

[Warrior]

Great story telling. This did justice in the realm of getting the message across. Great message. There's lot of times where a story can have a great message to aim for, and have a lot of under lining things but then no one gets it, and if no one gets it, then the point has failed. But in my opinion this did well to get the message across. You made it clear, which is why I think it's good. Keep up the good work. What was also great was that I could imagine the story as I read it, and that is also a strong point of stories. The ability to have the reader imagine it because after all we're reading not watching it, but it was as if I was there as I read this, and that is great. Good job once again.

[Gary A Wilson]

A vivid, riveting story. You can almost smell the blood in the basket, the whispering of the crowd and the anticipation of the blade dropping. Very well written.

[Hedra Helix]

Hello, hope you dont mind I've been doing line by lines lately and since this is short I ficured id do so here.


The men in the dark drab (

[Wildfleour]

Very intense. Did you ever hear of the story, "An Occurrance At Owl Creek Bridge" ? Your piece reminds me of that famous story.

ohhhhh, short, abrupt ending- it's hard hitting, i like it- love this line:
"Not the man in the black robe, holding the rope, holding my last breath in his hands,"
tis amazing how things can be left up to other people, but usually we entrust our lives with people we love and care for and you trust them- if they don't know you, it's pretty much the end.
It would've been awful to have had to watch that- especially if they DID find out that he was innocent after! You should do an account of the man who dropped the guillotine blade- might be interesting to hear the account of the one who killed an innocent man- they often did in those days- ill conceded trials.

Good write! :) xx

[bluessadmood]

oh this is great ,the way you describe moments when is so close,i wonder ,it must then bring back all life being lived ,bring it back all like a flashback so vivid and in hurried sequence,i wonder though if death is really that terrible ,this writing brings a lot of thought ,to in your mind and make you wonder which is better ,life or death ,that is the end of life,i liked it a lot,very good work

[justjenn_2u]

Tragic that people think it's okay to judge a person before they know what lies on the inside. An innocent man knowing that another human holds his life in his hands, tragic. Sadly, this will never go away.

I like the way them an handles knowing his fate. He thinks back to the peaceful times in his life, those that brought him much joy. And there is no better comfort than that of a mother. Even though the end is tragic, I was happy that he died while thinking peaceful thoughts.

Yes, for a crime he did not commit, but going to a better place with the comfort of those who loved him.

Very deep and can be interpreted if the reader takes time to comprehend. Good job!

[Forest Green]

Recalls to my mind 'The Tale of Two Cities.'

Very original story Jason...keep following your instincts I think they'll take you to some interesting places.

Good work!

Daniel

[Ashes of Apathy]

WhenI intially opened the frame and viewed the piece as a whole I immediatley noticed that it appaered to be abruptly cut off. This struck me as odd and created a deceptive first impression. As I read on I contuinued to occasionally glace down at the bottom but refused to give into my insationable urge to read the last sentence. When I finaly reached the end I was taken back at how profound of a statement a partially written had made on me. I can only describe it as: lasting.
-jr