Closure

Closure

A Poem by FireFly
"

Just something that was floating around in my head

"

Lined eyes peruse the hidden plains

Deepened by shadows and brighter light

 

Chilled hands trace mountains and valleys

Hands nearly as cold as the silence will fall

 

Hush now

The boy in the box has no place here

© 2012 FireFly


Author's Note

FireFly
Review please!

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Reviews

See, your best writing is when you are more effortless than anything else. it didn't seem forced or contorted into something you didn't mean. You left the last two lines completely open for the reader's interpretation, which is something that I really liked. "hands nearly as cold as the silence will fall": you see silence as something cold, so, i'm guessing it has something to do with feeling ignored.
I'd also like to hit on, "deepened by shadows and brighter light".. yes, deepened by shadows would seem a bit literal, for the idea of deepness seems dark and concealed, but I liked the "brighter lights" because you're so right: things can be hidden in LIGHT. they can be hidden where everything seems flawless. that line reminded me of, "Sometimes perfection can be, it can be perfect hell" from Jack's Mannequin.
I really liked this poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


To capture an image in 6 lines has to be comended

Posted 12 Years Ago



Metaphorically twisty ... light ironic. Nice albeit brief poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago



Errie, I felt this like a movie.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Just guessing . You think your body
is a vast plain chilled hands trace the
mountains and valleys that you never
want anyone to see.
The boy in the box has no place here,
but you would like it if he were.
Perfectly executed.
----- John

Posted 12 Years Ago


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...
The last line is very haunting...

Posted 12 Years Ago



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6 Reviews
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Added on March 8, 2012
Last Updated on March 8, 2012

Author

FireFly
FireFly

OH



About
I'm a college sophomore who loves to write. I also like strawberries, sunshine, running, reading, and music of all kinds. "Sleep perchance to dream" more..

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