Closure

Just something that was floating around in my head

Lined eyes peruse the hidden plains

Deepened by shadows and brighter light

 

Chilled hands trace mountains and valleys

Hands nearly as cold as the silence will fall

 

Hush now

The boy in the box has no place here

Author's Note

Review please!

Reviews

[.........]

See, your best writing is when you are more effortless than anything else. it didn't seem forced or contorted into something you didn't mean. You left the last two lines completely open for the reader's interpretation, which is something that I really liked. "hands nearly as cold as the silence will fall": you see silence as something cold, so, i'm guessing it has something to do with feeling ignored.
I'd also like to hit on, "deepened by shadows and brighter light".. yes, deepened by shadows would seem a bit literal, for the idea of deepness seems dark and concealed, but I liked the "brighter lights" because you're so right: things can be hidden in LIGHT. they can be hidden where everything seems flawless. that line reminded me of, "Sometimes perfection can be, it can be perfect hell" from Jack's Mannequin.
I really liked this poem.

[Just Jayren]

To capture an image in 6 lines has to be comended

[Forest Green]

Metaphorically twisty ... light ironic. Nice albeit brief poem.

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

Errie, I felt this like a movie.

[Eagle Cruagh]

Just guessing . You think your body
is a vast plain chilled hands trace the
mountains and valleys that you never
want anyone to see.
The boy in the box has no place here,
but you would like it if he were.
Perfectly executed.
----- John

[...]

The last line is very haunting...