Tonight is the Night

This is also something from my old account, and one of my favorite stories that I have written.

          The music swirled around Liz as she contorted her body for the complicated dance routine. Dance was something that Liz had always done since she could remember, and she hated it. She had been asking her mother to let her quit for years, since she was a freshman. Three years later, as a senior, Liz was still doing the thing she hated the most, thanks to Mommy Dearest. After the final pirouette and raised arm, Liz thought to herself “I am so done. Tonight is the night.”

            With the recital over, Liz changed out of her leotard into some black sweatpants and a grey long sleeve t-shirt. Her hair was pulled back into a bun, so she pulled out the elastic, allowing her dark brown hair to fall over her shoulders to where it rested in the middle of her back. She was supposed to be stretching with the rest of her fellow dancers, but she figured that little things like that wouldn’t matter anymore after tonight. As she pulled on her black sheepskin boots, she called her best friend, Charlotte, on her Blackberry. The phone rang three times, then Charlotte answered with “Hey Liz, what’s up?”

            “Hey Charlie”, Liz said in a flat tone of voice. “I’m sorry about doing this again, but could you drive me home? I know you were here to watch me, and I don’t feel like waiting for the rest of the dancers and the bus.”

            “Yeah, no problem girl. I’ll meet you out back, okay?”

            “Sounds good” said Liz.

            On the other end, Charlie hesitated. “Are you okay Liz?”

            Liz nodded absently. “Yes, I’m fine. I’ll meet you in five.” With that, Liz pressed the red “end” button on her phone. She shoved her leo into her black duffel bag, which she threw over her shoulder. “Okay, let’s go home”, Liz said to herself.

            Five minutes later, Liz got into Charlotte’s car, grateful for the warmth within. It was such a great contrast to the bitter cold outside. Charlotte put the car in gear and started to drive toward the exit of the parking lot. Liz saw her making sideways glances at her, but said nothing.

            The silence during the twenty minute drive to Liz’s house was excruciating, seeming to press in on all sides and suffocate the occupants of the car. Finally, Charlotte turned into Liz’s driveway. Before she unlocked the door, she turned to Liz and asked, “Okay, I’m only going to ask this one more time, then I’ll drop it. Are you okay Lizzie?”

            Liz sat completely still for a moment, seeming to be deep in thought. In fact, she was. The moment Charlotte had said the name “Lizzie”, Liz was transported back in time, to the day that Charlotte had found her crying. That day had been the worst day of Liz’s life so far. It was spring of her freshman year. Her parents had gotten in a catastrophic fight that morning and had even dragged Liz into it. Not knowing what to do, Liz had grabbed her book bag and walked out the door, even though school wouldn’t start for an hour. As she walked through the double doors of her school, the tears had started to course down her cheeks. The tears soon turned to huge, racking sobs and Liz tried to make a quick escape from the penetrating eyes of the teachers by running to the nearest bathroom. It seemed to be unoccupied, at least until a tall, thin girl with short brown hair and piercing blue eyes walked out of the farthest stall. “Charlotte!” Liz choked out, before falling to the floor.

            Charlotte quickly walked over to her friend and, kneeling beside her, she asked softly “What’s wrong Lizzie?”

            As that small phrase passed through Liz’s mind, she was yanked sharply back to the present. Charlotte was looking at her with those same blue eyes that had looked at her that day so long ago. I can’t tell her, Liz thought. Plastering a smile onto her face, Liz looked at Charlotte and said “Yep, I’m good. Goodbye Charlotte.” Liz pressed the unlock button on the car door, opened it, and hopped out, shutting the door behind her. She walked up the driveway to her house, holding in her tears the whole way. Finally, as she reached her door, Charlotte put her car into reverse and backed out of the driveway.

            Liz opened the door to her house and stepped inside. She was met with the sound of silence as she pulled her boots off. She had hoped that her parents would be home, just this one night, but of course she couldn’t be that lucky. She dropped her duffel bag with a thump and silently walked into the kitchen.

            The light over the sink was on and it cast a strange glow over the dark wood of the kitchen table. Liz walked across the kitchen to the cabinet above the microwave. She opened it and pulled out three bottles of pills: Naproxen, Oxycodone, and Aleve. Grabbing a bottle of water from the counter as she passed, Liz made her way toward the staircase that would lead her to her bedroom.

            The pills clattered within the bottles as she climbed the stairs, seeming to count down the last steps she would ever take. Liz took a deep breath in, steadying herself for what was to come. I’m not excited for this Liz thought to herself. I’m relieved. Why do people assume someone would be excited to die?

            Liz padded down the short upstairs hallway and entered her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. As she turned to walk toward her bed, she caught sight of herself in the full length mirror hanging from her closet door. Her brown eyes were still outlined in heavy black liner from her dance recital, making them stand out starkly against her pale skin. Her body was thin, frail even, from the days she had skipped meals. She was a truly pretty girl, but even her mother had commented on the way her shoulders had begun to hunch, as if she carried her fatigue on them. She was just so tired, of everything, and she couldn’t take it any longer.

            She turned away from the mirror, not wanting to see any more, and walked toward her bed, on which lay two letters. The first was for her parents and was a simple explanation. The second was for her best and only friend Charlotte, the only one who had actually given her the time of day. Liz sat down beside these letters and uncapped the bottles of pills. She counted the number of pills in each bottle: Eighteen Aleve, eleven Naproxen, fifteen Oxycodone. Enough to kill her.

            She took all of the pills one by one, drinking water with each, until they were gone. Laying back on her bed, she said aloud “And now we wait.”

            Already, she was beginning to feel tired. Minutes after that, she could hardly keep her eyes open. As she drifted away, relief washed over her. It’s over.

                       -------------------                                  

            “Did you really think it would be that easy?”

            The voice startled Liz. “I’m dead”, she said, with much more certainty than she felt. Had it not worked?

            “Oh you’re dead alright” said the voice. “No debating that. But do you know where you are?”

            Liz opened her eyes and sat up quickly, feeling the flat rock slab under her body. Under normal circumstances, such a quick movement would cause Liz to get dizzy and even black out for a few seconds. Nothing of the sort happened. She was beginning to get thoroughly concerned. “Where am I?” she asked, the panic that she felt creeping into her voice.

            “Look around you silly girl” the voice said sharply. Liz whipped around, trying to find the source of the voice. Her eyes locked on the figure of a cruelly beautiful girl with sharp features wearing a black lacy dress. The girl had jet black, waist length hair, black eyes, and almost translucent skin.

            Deciding that the appearance of the girl could be a hint unto her personality, Liz did as she was told. The sight that met her eyes scared her more than she thought a place ever could. It was a place of nightmares, a cavern filled with bats and indescribable forms that fought each other to the death right before her eyes. The walls were slick with a slimy substance and a black lake covered most of the floor. Screams that she hadn’t noticed before bounced off the walls, echoing and magnifying to three times their original volume.

            Eyes wide, Liz looked at the girl. “Am I in Hell?” she asked in a frightened voice.

            The girl laughed a laugh as sharp as the rocks on the walls and said scornfully “I should have known you wouldn’t be able to name this place. You’re inside yourself, inside your mind as it was when you died. You know how people always try to find peace before they pass on? This is why, whether or not they know it. You, Little Liz, are a suicide. Your mind was a scary place when you died, yes? Now you get to live with it for eternity. No easy ways out now!”

            Liz looked around herself in terrified silence. “No.. wait.. there has to be some mistake..” she stuttered. Then a thought came to her, one that offered her a lifeline of hope. “Hang on. If this is what’s in my head, who the hell are you and what are you doing here?”

            The girl laughed again, harder this time. “Are you telling me you don’t recognize me? Come on, look a little harder.”

            Liz did as she was told. With growing horror, she realized that she did recognize the girl. “No way” Liz whispered. “You’re me.” And the girl was, in fact, Liz, just with darker and crueler features.

            “Oh good girl! I wasn’t sure if you would get that one. I’m quite impressed with you.” Crossing her legs, the girl continued, “Yes, I am you. Remember the times you sat in your room, cursing your existence? That was me. Remember when you felt so alone that you couldn’t seem to break out of your shell? That was me too, whispering lies into your pretty little head. I was with you when you went dark. You never knew I existed, did you? Well now we’ll have an eternity to get to know each other, yes?”

            Dark Liz cackled as Liz began to cry. Liz shook her head over and over. “This is not what I wanted! I just wanted to stop feeling miserable. No, I guess what I really wanted was for you to leave me alone. You’re the reason I’m here.”

            Dark Liz looked condescendingly at Liz and asked “However shall I punish you for such an insolent speech? You’re in my world now, after all. Ah, I know just what I’ll do.” Dark Liz smiled a truly frightening smile and the nightmares that had been lurking in the shadows began to advance toward Liz. Liz saw the shadows and cowered against the rock slab she was laying on. Her piercing scream intermingled with the screams already in the cavern as the nightmares overtook her, preparing her for an eternity in her own personal hell.

Author's Note

Review, review, review!

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

O.K
I have read this twice or three times
and it is disturbing.
The writing is excellent, I would just
have chosen a more pleasant background.
You are a remarkable girl with talent to spare.
]Good luck.
---- John

[Forest Green]

Your character Liz is a truly sympathetic lead in the story, tragically the theme is too often played out in real life. Engulfed in turmoil is no way to grow up...!

[Omegax45]

I am one against suicide, and this story reflects on the many reasons why. I feel really bad for Liz, having to deal with her parents using her to hurt one another and the mother making her dance when she doesn't want to. It gives me the feeling that her mother is trying to live out her dreams within her own daughter. Nicely done, but I feel that a sequel, or additions if that is your fancy, should be in the works.

[Reaper]

really well done, very interesting

[Mikeandike]

Your writing style has a nice, natural progression. If I could make a suggestion, I think you should try to use that to your advantage and connect your main ideas more smoothly. Other than that, it was an intriguing write.

[Melati]

I really like your story, it is very deep and I hope you will continue to adding more. You should write a book :)

[SuicidePact.]

I really like it is that the ending or are you adding more?