The Absolute Fuckery That Is Romance

Rejection is a funny thing. In my case, I basically started ranting about anything and everything that went through my mind. If you actually manage to enjoy this, congratulations.

I feel like there’s this misconception that movies are accurate. And no, amazingly enough, I am not the first to notice this. It’s beginning to become cliche to make such a blatant statement at this point. But how could I help myself but believe the extraordinary tales on TV? I grew up surrounded by Jack Dawsons of Titanic, Lloyd Doblers of Say Anything, and Davids of Love Actually. They could do any heroic deed, from stopping your near suicide, helping you over broken glass, or showing up at your door Christmas day. So as overdone as this topic may seem, I’m about to go into a rant that is not unique, and not new, but new to me. Because as unfortunately as the saying goes, at least in this case, “There’s a first time for everything.” And this is the story of the first time I’ve ever faced rejection.

I feel like the worst part about this situation is I literally could have stopped this all, could have saved you the trouble of reading through this mess that will surely be in need of many revisions later. Because I saw it all coming. When I started liking him, I knew there was no way he would reciprocate the feeling. I wasn’t right for him, not right in the sense that these types of guys only look for certain standards that I don’t meet. I was about to put the word unfortunately in that last sentance, but I’m beginning to feel that it’s not unfortunate at all, because anybody living that way is surely not right for me. Anyways, not to sound like a desperate insecure teenager, even though I do tend to be one at times, but I couldn’t have had a chance. He began to know me and my friends all at the same time, and to put it out there honestly my friends are much prettier than me. I’m not looking for attention or fishing for complements, I’m just being honest. So when you fall for an a*****e, which, really is quite inevitable for most of us, if you’re not the prettiest you don’t win.

Ah ha, but here’s where my introduction to this bitterly realistic story comes in. I knew he was going to fall for somebody else. Heck, I even knew which one of my friends he was going to fall for. Yet I let myself believe in those adorable stories we all watch. Because I decided to be optimistic. Well let me tell you something. There is a sad pain in my chest, I threw my phone at a wall, and I feel like s**t. To sum it up, optimism gets you absolutely nowhere. Sorry to be cynical, but Jack dies at the end of Titanic. Nobody will be holding a stereo up outside your window, stereos aren’t even used anymore. And I am pretty certain that I will never date the Prime Minister of England. The guy I’ve fallen for likes my best friend, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it besides wallow, be angry, and write sarcastic pieces of writing nobody is interested in reading. They’d much rather fill their ears with popular s**t and watch TV shows on “Guidos” who have the IQ of a frog. So my peers can party on the jersey shore, I think I’d much rather go somewhere and be quiet for a bit. 

Through angrily writing out all of my feelings, I’ve realized my mistakes. Why would I chase down an a*****e when I stay up late writing stories and poetry? I’ve been searching for this in all of the wrong places. I yearn for an intellectually stimulating boyfriend, who says more than “lol.” Somebody who will discuss J.D. Salinger and World War II with me. Because to be honest, literature and history are my absolute weaknesses, I could immerse myself in them for hours. And yet I’ve never told ANY of my past boyfriends this. So I am now sitting here telling myself what to look for in the next guy. And s**t, I’m falling for the movies again... Or I guess TV. Note to self, Jess Mariano is not a real person. Ah but it’s too late, once again I’ve set my standards for somebody unreachable. So I guess this is my introduction to the absolute fuckery that is romance. Perfect.

Author's Note

Any feedback would be good, because I happen to be particularly fond of this piece.

Reviews

[Careline]

How ironic! Its the vice versa for me! If a guy ever felt the same way i felt for them, that would be a first for me :