Waiting for Frankenstein

I fell down a hole

Thinking about the men I’ve loved

How in pieces

I love them still

How I know

I could never go back

But I know

Why I stayed when I did

I want the Frankenstein of those men

[The first's] adoration and gentleness

His clean smell and kind ways

[The second's] confidence

His intelligence

That jawline and gap tooth

HIs ability to facilitate between

Grown a*s serious a*s man

And silly a*s whack a*s troll

Laughing hysterically with me

Over dumb s**t

In the aisles of a Trader Joes

I want [the third's] resilient presence

His aura of calm

His steady hand 

His way of adoring me

Without ever feeling

Overwhelming

Always

Just enough

It’s a strange thing

To sit here

And miss them all

But want none of them back

I never again want to love a man who will never keep pace with me

Or one who will always run ahead, crash and burn

Or one who only looks like what I need, but never will deliver.

But still

A seed of excitement

Remembering how much I loved them

anyway

Thinking how much I could love someone

Who is the right pieces

Of all of them.