Sea Worthy

It seemed like it was fading for a moment. 

Like maybe the worst was over

Like maybe I’d already pulled out

Your skull and your femur

And the biggest of your ribs

And all that was left

Was little phalanges and ear bones

That would pop away with a brief familiar stab

Or disintegrate into my system

Diluted 

But always there. 

There is a persistence to it now

Like I started tugging

And latched onto your vertebrae

And now every single disk

Is scraping against me as its taken from my warmth

Part of me wonders if the pain

Is even really for you anymore

Is there enough of you still in here to miss?

Do I even recognize the pieces that are left?

I wonder now if the real trouble is

I’m finally out at sea

As any strong boat is meant to be

And the waves are crashing down

And I was built to be here

I was built to raise my flags

And sail across even wicked waters

But I spent so long harboring these bones

I spent so long anchored to a rusty dock

That was never built to last

I’ve forgotten what it feels like

To anchor myself

And find peace in high tides.