Alone

a metaphor on how the depressed mind copes.

     He opened his eyes but still felt groggy. He looked around but could not believe his eyes. He started thinking about the events that led to this moment. He had realized the skies were growing dark and had decided upon taking a nap under a Poonta tree. When he woke up it was all gone. The man named Unid, a shaman to the ancient tribe of Awuna, crept up to where his tent used to be. It was gone, it was all gone, his tribe, his neighbors, his wife. Where had they gone? They weren’t a tribe that would relocate; they had been living there for the past forty years. He was raised here, his dad used to be a shaman before him. Even if they had moved, wouldn’t someone have said something? He ran around back and forth feeling an empty hole in his stomach, he was hungry. Where was his wife, it was her duty to prepare the food. His daughter Fatuma was in charge of harvesting the food, his son Dwe would do the hunting. He felt helpless for the first time in his life. He felt ashamed of himself. He was a shaman after all; there were fifty other families that depended on his prophecies. How could they manage without him, who would cure their babies when they were sick, how could they decide on what punishment or spell would be put on the thieves?

       Two days had past, and still he was lost. They will be back he thought. He decided on summoning the totems of each element. He would ask them questions; they would lead him in the right direction. At first he summoned fire, Shango he called out, help me through this disaster, I summon your knowledge God of Fire. A shrill noise replied and his insides were filled with heat. The happiness you seek only responds to your pain a voice called out. What does that mean though fiery God? He asked. A puff of smoke illuminated the sky and lightning struck around him. Suddenly it all disappeared. He had lost Shango, and had not learned what he wanted to. What did “The happiness you seek only responds to your pain” even mean? This was useless he thought. He walked into the woods, the light coming through the trees, a little bit foggy, the earthy smell, the quietness, coolness, moss growing on the trunks of the trees, droplets of water dripping from large leaves, ferns, water trickling through the little creek, bird sounds. They were all lost. The ethereal sun-dappled beauty was gone. What he found was another falling tree in a lonely forest. Were the souls of the trees alive? Would they speak to him? He knew the language of the spirits; if he was quiet enough he might be able to hear them. In his silence he heard the cries of the migrating Sunbirds. It must be mid October than, he said, thankful that he had some sort of knowledge of time. The sunbirds belonged to the darkness of the night and the rain clouds. Is this a sign he thought? We cannot live without sunshine, nor can we live without rain, yet we cannot have them at the same time, for rain and sunshine do not normally descend together. The day would break if he could trap the birds. Yet he had nothing with him to do so. He wished that he had skills other than sorcery; he felt completely cut off with the world. The birds flew off into the unknown, leaving him alone in this unfamiliar forest.

       The days went by same, as before, yet Unid could find no salvation. He was still stuck in a world he did not belong in. As time past his skills grew. He learned how to hunt and how to survive on his own. On another lonely day of walking through the woods, he saw something. It was a speck of light, but as he came towards it he realized its full heavenly glory. It was dazzling, the grass was taller and greener, the water was crystal blue and the amity of nature was blossoming. It was an exquisite sight, one that could not be described in words. There was not one thing that stood out; it was the unification of everything. The blue sky, the water, the birds chirping it was a heavenly sight with no equal. Where was he, and how come he had never seen this place before?

   He was still groggy since that day he woke up completely lost and he saw flickers and flashes of moments. He saw a tent burning and children screaming but his mind would not allow him to see any further. He was still not clear on what Shango, the fire God had told him. He was seeking happiness, but more importantly he was seeking answers.

     Late one night he sat upon a tree and began to look out. His heaven was surrounding him, but the lonely forest could be seen. He was in an oasis of sorts; he was protected from the outside. As he thought of this he had a flashback;

 

It’s burning it’s all burning. Fire, ashes, dust, screams, pain, red … there was no escape. He saw his wife, his whole tribe, everyone in pain. He couldn’t do anything. He was on the outskirts of the forest and was running full speed towards them. He was not fast enough, he would not be able to reach them, and it was impossible. He watched as everything familiar and everything valuable to him burned. As everything turned to dust he made it back to the tribe. The fiery fire had loosened its grip. He didn’t know what to do. He walked around aimlessly for days, always circling the same places, never stopping, never resting until one day he just collapsed.

So that’s what the fire God had been trying to tell him. That he needed to experience pain in order to feel happiness. He needed to come to terms with what had happened to him, in order to move on and be happy. Realizing that he had lost everything, he gave up searching for his old life, and decided to build a new one. The rainclouds and storms had begun to ease and the sun was shinning again. The day had broken. He did not know what would happen, but he looked forward to it. His brain had kept these memories from him so he could have the time to slowly process it. It had kept him from breaking down. He did not consider his life to be a total loss; he considered his impending future to be bright.

 

In the temple of his spirit, each man is alone.

 

 

 

Reviews

[OBWhiteHawk]

I like this story, I like how you conclude it with the hero deciding he will have a good future, a new future, and understanding that memories are sometimes better kept for our conscious mind because we can't always handle them.

[RNM]

I really liked this. You have a nice style of writing!

[filizakkaya]

Thank you so much :)

[Beautiful Brat]

Unique Idea. I enjoyed reading and like how you write. :]

[filizakkaya]

thank you :)

[Andile]

I have a problem change this story into a book . Great book but it could do with a lot of suspense.

[filizakkaya]

I'll take that into consideration, thanks for the review :)