A Letter to and from Anonymous

Read it. It's from someone who knows you very well.

Hey, it’s been awhile.

Look at you, getting teary eyed and you didn't even get to the end yet.

You've been through a lot and you wonder when you’ll ever be given a real break in life because you feel life everything is on a tilter. Chaos looming on the horizon and your guard is always up, anticipating the worst to come. 

You’re scared. 

So scared that you want to cry.

And you do.

You know you do.

Is this right?

You always question yourself because a part of you is saying you’re being selfish. Another part of you is saying you deserve to get at least this small respite.

This is stupid.

Reading this…

Your fear lay unspoken.

Everything is so fragile.

You question your choices. You question your dreams. You question yourself. It has always been one big question mark and yet the answers refuse to come.

Your chest hurts and you’re not even sick.

You can’t cry that openly, maybe that’s why you feel like you’re going to explode and when you do, the tears fall mercilessly and you’re nothing but big crybaby in the end.

You’re strong. You have to be because if you weren't you’d probably be more messed up that you already are. But sometimes you just want somebody to let you be weak and let you cry your heart out. Bare open your heart, scars and all. Let the world see that behind the mask lays a someone on the brink of being broken. Let the world see you trying to piece yourself together and hope that someday you can stop fixing the pieces that seem to keep being broken. The pieces that continue to crumble despite all the care you've placed on it.

People can be so cruel. Even the one you love and cherish. Yes, you love them, care for them but their words can turn into the sharpest of daggers.

Words hurt.

Those who say they don’t, lie. They leave wounds and scars that can easily be reopened, infecting you and sending you into the dark world of despair.

You’re so tired.

You’re so helpless and powerless to the events that occur.

You’re insecure. You try not to be but sometimes, a certain nerve gets struck all too painfully that you feel inadequate.

You’re a liar too.

You know that and sometimes you wonder if you’re telling the truth or just letting the thing fall into place. The things you say, your opinions, they’re so unstable. Ever shifting and chaotic as your thoughts blend.

You’re hurt. Battered. Left bleeding on the street. You can’t even ask for help. You just say you’re fine but you’re not. You try to believe the words but you’re not fine. You’re in pain. Your heart is bleeding and you’re scared. So scared, you don’t know what to do.

You feel so trapped.

Nowhere to go, no one to turn to.

You’re supposed to be okay, you’re supposed to be strong. But just this once, you want someone to tell you it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel scared. It’s okay to be not all right.

Just this once you want to be weak.

Just this once, you want to be the talker.

Just this once, you be the one to pour all your frustrations and sorrows out to the world.

Just this once, you want to give up and let your world crumble.

Just this once, let someone else fix you and make you feel whole again.

Just this once, you allow yourself to be a little kid and let someone take care of you.

Just this once, you allow yourself to open up and trust.

Until that moment comes, until that person decides to break your walls and pry open your cold closed heart, you wait. You wait and be strong. You wait as the tears plainly fall yet still kept behind your dam of indifference.

You wait. Everything with be all right.

In the end of everything, you’ll get you’re happy ending.

Author's Note

This was written during one of those times where things just felt too much for me to handle... also, it was also from my old blog.

Reviews

[Frieda P]

If you're going to peer into my soul and reveal my pink underbelly, you should at least sign your name! I love this, how utterly clever...

just one thing 'your', not you're, otherwise perfection....

[fiery-san]

Thanks for the review Frieda, I'm glad you like it. And, thanks for the point out, I'll fix the grammar glitch later ^_^