Merlot

Like a  drained bottle,   her soul is empty. To

soothe her singed nerves, only one thing belongs

inside.   In her  nightly dreams,  it  rains, fast

and hard like a mighty thunderstorm. The only

difference? It rains red, the color of young rose

petals. The drops are bitter-sweet, gently wa-

rming her insides as they glide down. It’s the

forbidden drink, the forsaken divinity that dri-

ves her wild with want during the day and in-

fests her thoughts at night. Within herself she

is a barren desert, begging with dying

lungs for one mere ribbon of

scarlet temptation to

bless  her

tortured

 soul.W-

henever

that r-

 osy, bl-

ushing

nectar

trickl-

es do-

wn her

needy

throa-

t, she

is free like a bird released from

her cage, only to realize that she has broken wings.

Author's Note

Note that this is an extremely rough draft and I haven't yet worked out the little spacing kinks. It may not look perfect yet...but hopefully you get the idea of the shape. I also have yet to choose a font. Anyway, thanks for reading.

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Interesting format, I like the impact the form has in combination with your words, well done.

[Luna Evangeline]

Thank you, I appreciate it.

[icelandicblue]

You've created a stunning visual in the poem. The "wine" flows beautifully. Your choice of imagery is deep and rich. The stem is a bit hard to read but it's worth it simply for the experience of such an interesting poem.

[Luna Evangeline]

Thank you very much. The stem of course is my biggest struggle at this point. Thank you for the praise.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I like the form and format. Typically I'm not one for poetry that attempts to confine itself to a "picture" form because the beat and meter are usually lost to it, but this is different. You have a very nice flow. I love the worplay you use: "In her nightly dreams, it rains fast and hard like a mighty thunderstorm"--great line and great image in one. You may have a little to work out in the "stem" portion of this one, it did get a tiny big choppy, but otherwise, well done!

[Luna Evangeline]

Thank you Sarah. I agree: you either love picture poetry or you hate it. I just wrote this on a whim, and there's a lot to be done. It's hard to sit down and refine poems like this...but I know that if I don't do it, this thing will look like crap. Thanks for the great review!