Funeral Thoughts

It’s a funny thing,

the feeling after someone has died.

 

It’s a peculiar emptiness,

a hole that is first filled to the brim with doubt

and later just drained into

nothing.

 

Everything is hollow,

echoing,

and cold.

So cold.

 

It used to feel like

happiness reached up through my heart and

pulled my lips into a smile.

Now it’s just muscles moving over teeth

to appease everyone.

 

When I first realized she was gone

funny emotions came smashing together in my chest

like one million tiny explosions

angryconfusedanguishedeverythinginbetween

and now there’s nothing left

nothing but me

just me.

 

Author's Note

Leave reviews, please.

Reviews

[Brianna Brie]

I love the line that the words run into each other. It really keeps with the feeling of numbness. After the death of a loved one, life is all jumbled up. I am sorry for your loss. Write to release, release to write...

[Luna Evangeline]

Much appreciated. I'm grateful for your kind thoughts.

[Aidz]

Sleep the eternal and drift into black, till you look around and find the empty shadows ;)

[Luna Evangeline]

Poetic even in the reviews.... Brava!

[TL Boehm]

It used to feel like
happiness reached up through my heart and
pulled my lips into a smile.
Now it’s just muscles moving over teeth
to appease everyone.
Stellar.
Even when we see the inevitable cessation of another's life coming there is nothing that prepares us for the deluge. It is truly like watching the tide pull out before the surge - and the black water just keeps encroaching - with the steady ferocity of sharks in full feeding frenzy - everything is skeletonized, and there is nothing we can do. I lost my dad May 10, 2009. As you displayed so well in this poem - every emotion I ever had collides in my head without warning at times. This is a powerful poem. Very powerful.

[Luna Evangeline]

Thank you, TL. You're a recommended reviewer. I appreciate the thoughts.

[TLK]

You slide us past general abstractions -- yeah, yeah, the reader thinks, bereavement whatevs -- but the (literally) visceral dive into the heart's power to control the smile turns this poem into the slick operation of a meat-puppet hurt by circumstance.

Your use of the run-on words to indicate the proximity of those explosions, located in that chest, gives the image of a ragdoll bursting with pain from the inside even as society makes them lie.

[Luna Evangeline]

And that's what you must do: lie, lie, then lie again. It's a vicious cycle. "I'm fine." "Just fine." Unfortunately you can't stay a shredded ragdoll for long, because society expects you to get up and operate again.

[TLK]

We are not to be believed when we say we are bereaved, for we are still alive and as such have no connection with death. They tell us this, they tell us that we are thrown from our ancestors, linked only by sentiment. Vaginas as cannons, sperm setting them alight, and all we are must be cold hard cannonballs shot across life to thud where we will.

[Luna Evangeline]

You're poetic even outside of your poetry. *applause*

[TLK]

I can't bloody help myself sometimes.

[Luna Evangeline]

We all know the feeling.

[Terry Butler]

I really like this. The description of emptiness is beautifully written, well done.

[Luna Evangeline]

Thank you.

[gabrielle]

This piece captured beautifully and truthfully the emotions or the numbness of emotions of someone who just lost a loved one. Second stanza says it all. Very well-penned.

[Luna Evangeline]

Thank you.

[Alex Falkner]

Well written, I really liked the mash of words with no breaks between, it's like everything running at once with no relief.
Brilliant.

[Luna Evangeline]

Thanks a lot, I appreciate your thoughts.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Excellent read and write.

[Luna Evangeline]

Thank you very much.

[h d e rushin]

I agree. Loss or death can give off those cryptic responses that so often mimics
sentimental divergency. And this is true because of the many human levels of
remorse. You're fourth stanza was a poem in itself in it's discription of the most
intricate postmortem relationship or activity.

nicely written.
dana

[Luna Evangeline]

Thank you Dana.

[Simon Welsh]

I love it. The portrayal of love and melancholy is beautifully written. The line angryconfusedanguishedeverythinginbetween shows the maelstrom of thought during such a horrible time. Well done!

[Luna Evangeline]

Thanks Elliott, much appreciated.