Part Three

Part Three

A Chapter by Flame DM

She stopped talking hanging her head low, her oddly different color eyes gazing down at the ground. Briggs chewed his pen lightly letting everything he just heard sink in. Ellie had spilled a mouthful on this subject in her fast exciting speech. She went on and on about how an angel saved her when the doggy couldn’t. It was interesting to hear the tale through the monster’s eyes.

          But he was beginning to question if this vampire was a monster at all. His whole life he was taught they were, and he killed thousands of them seeing that they were not even human at all. But then there was this vampire sitting before him. She went into homes to scare people so they were safe and she saved his kid. Ellie would have died the same way as Ellen did if it wasn’t for this creature.

          Yet it was still a vampire. He couldn’t let these acts of nobleness deceive his mind.

          After all, they were just acts. They had to be. What sort of vampire, in their right mind, would live like this?

          “Your brother was stupid to drag my body into the barn house,” she finally said. Her voice was soft as if she was regretting being here now. Briggs assumed it wasn’t regretting talking to him; the vampire came in by herself asking to be chained up so she could talk. No, she had to be regretting being alive now.

          Which still didn’t make sense. His mind felt like someone dropped two lead brick in his skull. His teeth lightly clamped harder into the pen to maintain the level of calmness on his features.

          “What happened to you?” he asked, completely disregarding the last statement, for now. “I’m assuming it has something to do with your eyes considering the other vampire was ready to gouge it out.”

          She looked up at him smiling, but the smile itself looked like it was frowning. This vampire was just a living piece of irony. “Louie asked me about that and I’ll get to that part of the tale when it comes. I’d rather not say it more than I have to. Let’s just say that my sister wasn’t exactly thrilled when I disobeyed her in front of the whole ‘family’” She spit out the last word, her face looking like she was sucking on sour candy.

          “You’re sister runs the clan, is that right?” he asked. It seemed that way, from how the vampire had described the tale so far. But he wanted to make sure this was true.

          The vampire laughed. “Technically we’re supposed to run the clan together. Luna and I both killed our sire; she did it for power while I thought it would be a means to an end.” She shrugged. “But Luna took that power away quite easily. No vampire in their right mind wants to follow a vegetarian. It’s just the way it works.”

          The man chuckled. “You thought killing your sire would help you? You’re quite naïve for a creature of the night.”

          “I guess I deserve that,” she sighed. “But when we did get rid of him, we were able to stop the clan from increasing in size. Our sire…well…he liked to turn his victims, instead of giving them the mercy to die. Everyone that was in our home was turned by him. He thought that it would make it easier for him to lead, by having everyone contain a piece of him. I guess it makes sense, if you think about it. Luna and I were his first so it’s almost like a novelist way to die by the hands of your first victims.”

          It was hard to tell if this girl, this creature, was just laying on the sincerity act. He had seen it before and never fell for it. It would explain why she mentioned she never sucked human blood, saved people, and why her tale sounded the way she told it. But he heard Ellie’s side and Louie’s. His brother even pointed out things that she talked about. So there was evidence to support her that made it less of an act, yet he still had his doubts. He leaned back in the chair, his mind considering all the options and possibilities about this vampire. He’d listen to the end and decide what it was about her that separated her from the rest. Maybe he would figure out what made it possible for her to last this long without killing a human.

          If that part was true, that is.

          “How old are you?”

          “I don’t really know,” she laughed uneasily. “I was sixteen when I was turned, but that was way back in 1536. I guess I’m close to 500, but not there yet. So, have you decided yet?”

          “I’d like to hear the story to the end before I decide,” he smirked. “I’m actually quite interested to hear more about this sister of yours and your eyes.”

          The vampire girl sighed, “I told you I’m a horrible story teller. I still don’t get why you want to hear this, Mr. Briggs. All I want to know is-”

          He only smirked back at her. “Didn’t you just say that you would get to certain parts of the story when they come?”

          Her gold eye glowed more brightly as she bit her lip. He mused knowing this was in frustration. “Well…after saving your kid there is no story that pertains on what I asked.”

          “And you were just hoping I would forget and have an answer by now, didn’t you?” He laughed, loving the sour expression on the creature’s face. It deserved that frustration, after coming in here and flipping his world upside down. “I want to hear this to the end. To the part when you came after me with my brother.”

          She sighed. “You’re giving me no choice are you?”

          He nodded letting his sly, devilish smirk shine through his biting of the pen.

          The vampire sighed once more taking a deep breath. He wondered if it was still in frustration or in submission. He guessed he would never know.

          “After I passed out I’m not clear on what happened. All I know is that your brother must have found me as soon as I knocked. If he didn’t then I probably would be with Satan right now. Something possessed him to drag me in the barn and I wish he hadn’t done so, I’m the farthest thing on the worth saving list. Unfortunately I wasn’t out for long. I woke up when the sun was still out but with the barn over my head and walls I didn’t burn. It’s just sun exposure that really does a number on us. When I was out cold, however, I really thought I was finally put out of misery. I believed I was going to open my eyes with demonic imps around me about to drag me with their pitch forks to meet the Prince of Evil himself…

 

 

To be continued…




© 2008 Flame DM


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ATG
At first, I didn't know if the switch to first person and third person points of veiw would work, but after reading this for a while, I think it works. It is an interesting idea. It seems to work for your story.

I am still enjoying the story. I remembered where I left off even after not reading for a long time. It is still very well written and I still really enjoy reading it.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.



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Reviews

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
ATG
At first, I didn't know if the switch to first person and third person points of veiw would work, but after reading this for a while, I think it works. It is an interesting idea. It seems to work for your story.

I am still enjoying the story. I remembered where I left off even after not reading for a long time. It is still very well written and I still really enjoy reading it.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very good development here. I didn't know that the interviewer was the farmers brother. There are points where I get confused, but it seems like the next chapter always answers my questions from the previous ones. There are a few grammatical errors, but I understand this to not be the final write, so that's not important yet. As a reader, I am enjoying the flow, but I also feel that I am getting a little overwhelmed with characters. I don't want you to write fluff, but it seems like you could write even more detail in between character introductions. You have the start of so many good characters it may be necessary to take more time on them. I'm reading a chapter a day to absorb each part. Very nice work.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hmmm intricate very well detailed

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

So far so good I'm understanding this chapter better than the previous ones BUT I would change this. When he asked: "How old are you?"
"I don't really know," she laughed uneasily. "I was sixteen when I was turned, but that was way back in 1536. I guess I'm close to 500, but not there yet.
To
"I was sixteen when I was turned, but that was way back in the 1500's. I guess I'm close to 500, but not there yet. If you give an exact date then as a vampire she should be able to tell exactly how old she is since vampires are suppose to be smart but if you just say 1500's then its okay for her to guess and I guess I'm close to 500.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The switch between 3rd and 1st person is interesting; it allows the reader to obtain more information on the characters in the story than a set 1st or 3rd person perspective would allow. Once again, this is a nice suspenseful chapter that has made me want to read the next one.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 20, 2008
Last Updated on November 13, 2008


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Flame DM
Flame DM

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Hey! Not sure what to really put in my about me, but I'm just gonna wing it, so everyone just bare with me. I don't really give out my real name, sorry, buuut that's just the way it is. You can know m.. more..

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Day One 12/15/09 Day One 12/15/09

A Chapter by Flame DM



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