Determination

For a contest.

 rain falls upon the summer day

he looks out upon the horizon

searching for the one he lost

his days have been filled with torment

loss, and depression

he had been blinded

by the lies of his friends

and then came betrayal

but he survived all of this

in hopes to see

the one he loved

and wasn't allowed to love

but she was lost

lost to all

but he would not give up

for he loved her

and in his experiences 

as a warrior, a soldier, a knight, a human

he learned never to give up

so he would travel

the ends of the earth

until he held her in his arms

 

 

 

Author's Note

I felt this could have been much better.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Chris,

Everything can be penned better, even the best poems. But your poem is already very good, and I think you have it exactly right. Living, more than anything else, is about determination. This is the only thing we truly own. It is entirely ours. The rest of life is dumb luck. You can be lucky and be rich, or you can be unlucky at die by walking across the street and being hit by a car. But you own your determinination, and with prudent application, determinination can make your life be as good and it can be.

You have it right, Marine!

Rick

[Fran Marie]

as a warrior, a soldier, a knight, a human

he learned never to give up

so he would travel

the ends of the earth

until he held her in his arms



Powerful, Heroric and Romantic words expressed so beautifully in poetic verse~


Exquisitely penned~Fran Marie

[distefano 401]

very powerful. i especially liked the last lines...

"and in his experiences
as a warrior, a soldier, a knight, a human
he learned never to give up
so he would travel
the ends of the earth
until he held her in his arms"

nice write.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

I love the expression of devotion and emotion in this work. Best of luck in the contest. Very nice job.
Light,
Siddartha

[Wicahpi]

Well you have two weeks to play with it, if you don't like it as it is :)
This is a different twist...and it makes sense that a knight would
never surrender or give up! A knight would definately be determined!
Thank you for your entry into my contest, Chris. Good Luck!