a ferard love story

it is a story about two gay man named Gerard way and Frank iero

hi my name Gerard way and this is the story of how i found my lover Frank iero .
it was winter morning picture this the snow is falling light on the tip of your nose at the bus stop and out of nowhere a boy appears his small and breath taking and then he is right next to you.
so this boy you ask is my frankie my love my life and my muse here is is the bus ride we had.
when the bus came to our stop he asked may we sit together i said yes and we talked and i found out he was gay i looked at him and said no way me too he said no way so we made out the whole way there  as the bus came to a stop in front of the school way both had all the same classes together so we played around under the table in chemistry he had his hand in my pants the whole time playing with my c**k  i moaned to loud and got a look from every one the teacher asked what is going on back there she said in a loud voice frank took his hand from my pants and said i kicked him the teacher said i will see you both after class
and after we got yelled at we where sent home and we got dirty in my room him inside me was awesome i give him the blow job and with that my dear people i leave you to think about that  with what  i have told you .

                                             good bye gee and frankie       

Reviews

Well I definitely think this should have been rated Mature, you wouldn't want a younger audience reading this.... Just keep that in mind when you post this type of content.
Well I have no objections against gays or your story but the way it was delivered.
I agree with Jim, I would revise this. Using proper grammar, punctuation, etc. It makes it easier as well as being courteous to your readers.
Don't give up on writing, keep practicing, you will only get better....

[DeadToTheWorld]

this was...interesting Ive never heard anything put quite like this before...or read anything like this for that matter...again it was interesting...I agree with everyone else as well...it should be rated mature...

[Dushyant Thadani]

I just don't know why this work hasn't been rated mature. But anyways I have a problem with no proper grammar structure like many others who commented on your work. Anyhow I found the story interesting, and apparently this is the first story I've read which is completely on homosexuals. Good write. I know you can do much better. Keep at it.

[Right Wing Constervativ..]

i dont really agree with this story, sorry

[M.Babu]

er...i agree with Chels...this was definitely for a mature audience.
I think that you should keep writing to refine your talent. This had some errors along the way but i understand what you were trying to pass across:)

I was told when i first got to this site that there's a writer in everyone, so i encourage you most profusely to keep at it till your unstoppable!! Good attempt though:)

[Linear]

Although written without proper attention, it was easy to follow, I dislike gay sex, but I have some homosexual friends, and as long as they dont flaunt it I'm ok with them, and yes this should have been a mature write, but as a story and a piece of literature it has certain merits in my opinion, but that isn't much Im no critique

[Sophie Titch]

:)

[Jim Parson]

Interesting. But very difficult to read without appropriate structure, capitalization and punctuation. This is a place for reading and writing, not texting. If your interest lies with being a writer, you need to start by using the appropriate tools of the writer. I really hope you will.

[somerset]

you haven't got a definite approach about the story.Sorry i don't like. and i don't support gay relationships.

[Chloe Christine]

I don't think so.
If you want my honest opinion, the people below me were just being nice.
It should be rated mature.
It has no punctuation.
and it's just not a very good piece.

try something a little less..
graphic and just out there.
Something easier.