Goodbye Matt

To the Ex I will always love

Just when I think I can to this

that I will make it through

this crushing weight descends

crashing into me leaving me breathless

tears build behind my eyes and I cant catch my breath

double over gasping thinking this will never end.

My heart has shattered

rebuilt

and shattered again

I don't know how many times

each time more painful then the last

How am I suppose to do this without you?

people tell me to focus on the good times to not think about you

well that is highly difficult when all my good times....

...were with you.

Don't think about the past this about the future

That is too painful when I built my future....

....around us.

People tell me to keep my chin up

that this pain will pass.

I don't want to keep my chin up

I want to curl up in a ball and cry my sorrows

I want to scream till my throat is raw

I want you to feel the pain you gave caused.

But most of all.......

I just want you back....

Author's Note

TO my ex Matthew. We spent three perfect years together. Yes we had our fights and they were bad. I mean just plain horrible let us both in tears. but we had so many more good times. *Smiles*. I dont know how I am going to do this without you. you became such a huge part of my life. but I willl try. because i know you would want me too.....

I miss you matt. and someday I hope we can become friends.