Chapter Fifty-Five: The Final Goodbye

"We were able to repair the damage sustained by the gun shot wound. The Injuries to his head though, I'm sorry there was nothing we could do." Doctor Montgomery says. Shawn stares at him like he has three heads, not really processing anything.  Montgomery peers at him over his wire rimmed glasses "Shawn are you alright?" He asks with concern. Shawn blink at him, shakes his head, and gives him a grim smile.

 

"I think I am doing as well as someone in this situation can be," He says honestly. " her though," He turns to look at the huddled figure that was slumped in the waiting room chair, "I'm worried about her. Tell me Doc, Is he going to make it?" He says turning back to look at the doctor, someone who had become a regular sight in their lives.  Montgomery looks at him with a grave face.

" I wish I had better answer for you. I'm not going to lie and I'm not going to give you Hope where there is none, You're friend, Twinkie, He is brain dead. The injuries he sustained from hitting his head was too severe. We have him on Oxygen and it is pumping his lungs for him, and keeping his heart beating, without it he will not live. I'm very sorry." He says, regret tinging his words. Shawn's face pales as the life he has always known is ripped out from under him, He staggers and is grateful for the help desk as he grabs onto it for support. Twinkie? Brain dead? He looks over to Katie still huddled in her chair and sees Han trying to coax her out of her mood with no success. How was he going to tell her.

 

I hate Hospitals, nothing ever good happens in them Katie thinks as she sits in the uncomfortable chair and stares at a random spot on the floor, vaguely hearing Han trying to get her to look at him. But she doesn't move, she feels like if she moves she will shatter to a million pieces. Image after Image of Twinkie laughing and smiling flash through her mind like a tape on repeat. Memories of them sitting on the couch on the landing watching Horror movies, throwing popcorn at each other before snuggling up and crashing. The night that She had a horrible nightmare and snuck to his Tube bunk and slept curled up in his arms. The day when he took her to the Air base and showed her the view from the highest building. Thinking about Twinkie on the Air force base makes the nightmare rear its ugly head, Twinkie's eyes rolling to the back of his head, the blood pouring out of his chest, the sound of his head cracking against the pavement. It wasn't until she feels Han's arms around her and hearing his voice trying to sooth her that she realizes she was sobbing loudly and heavily. She was crying so hard she doesn't hear Shawn coming over to them.

 

"Han can I talk to you for a minute." She hears making her lift her head and look up at her brother. The look on his face makes the last of her strength shatter and she starts shaking violently.

 

"Shawn what's wrong with Twinkie?" She says standing up sharply, Han yelping as she tears out of his arms. " Shawn you tell me RIGHT NOW!" She shouts. Shawn flinches but looks at her sighing.

 

"Katie, he's... he's brain dead." he whispers, tears flowing down his face. Her world freezes and her sorrow deeps as she staggers back into Han's arms, Momentarily in shock. Han and Shawn talk back and forth rapidly as Shawn gives him the news that Montgomery gave him. Words like Life support, brain dead, heart stopping, pulling the plug filter to her brain. "He's in room A15." She hears Shawn whisper.

"no no no no  NO!" She screams and with a sudden burst of energy she once again rips out of Han's arms and tears down the hall in the direction of Twinkie's room. She hears the boys shouting after her and chasing her but she doesn't stop. She needs to see Twinkie, needs to prove them wrong. Room A15 looms ahead of her and she comes to a shaky stop in front of it, without hesitation she yanks open the door and bolts into the room coming to a full stop at the sight in front of her. Twinkie was laying in a bed with all sorts of strange machines surrounding him, His heart monitor making a slow beeping noise. There was a breathing tube down his throat and the machine that was pumping his lungs for him and forcing him to breath is making a slow and loud whooshing noise as it makes him breath out, a sucking noise as it makes him breath in. He was laying unnaturally still in the bed, his normally dark skin looking sickly and pale under the harsh lighting, his shirt was off revealing a heavily bandaged chest where the wound was, his normally ever present doo rag was gone, a bandage wrapped around his head from the doctors trying to fix the crack to his skull. Her knees suddenly give out and she sinks to the floor, to numb and stunned to do anything but silently cry as she stares at one of the most liveliest people she knows laying broken in a bed. It was at that moment that the boys finally come tearing into the room.

 

Han stops, his heart skipping a beat as he sees his girlfriend kneeling on the floor in shock as she stared at Twinkie laying in the bed. He watches as emotion after emotion crashing into her. A sob claws its way out of her chest and she once again leaps up, this time heading straight to Twinkie, he tries to grab her but she is too quick and she manages to slip out of his grasp and run to Twinkies bedside.

 

"WAKE UP TWINKIE! Come On Bro this isn't FUNNY! Don't F**k with me! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" She screams shaking his shoulders, when that doesn't work she starts pounding on his chest. "WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!" She screams over and over again until her sobs choke out her words and she just continues to scream in incoherent rants. Han feels tears run down his face as he watches Katie break down, but he doesn't dare touch her until she finally slumps against Twinkie's chest crying. it was only then that he goes over to her and wraps his arms around her.

 

"Katie come here, I've got you." He whispers and is surprised when she allows him to pull her off of Twinkie and gathers her up in his arms. She sags against his chest, heaving in greats gulps.He smooths her hair and cradles her, holding her tightly to him. "Shhhh Angel you're OK, It's OK." He mutters to her throwing a look at Shawn. Shawn's face was pale, there were bags under his eyes as he steps over to his sister.

 

"Katie can you Look at me?" He whispers. She turns her teary glazed over green eyes to him and his breath stops for a split second as he sees her pain shining through. "Never mind, We can talk about this tomorrow, lets just get you home." He says quickly. Katie shakes her head, pushing her sorrow deep down she pulls at her last bit of shattered strength and tries to be Strong, Twinkie would want me to be, she thinks. She takes a deep breath and pushes out of Han's arms.

 

"No, I don't think I can handle any more waiting around, Talk now." She admits, her voice horse from all the crying. Shawn and Han look at each other, communicating with their eyes before Han finally sighs and runs his hands through is hair, nodding to Shawn. Shawn looks at his sister, her world once again freezing as she sees his expression. "Katie, You know Twinkie better then anyone, He wouldn't want to live like this, like a.... a Vegatable." He says calmly, though by the way his voice was strained she could tell he was trying not to cry. In an instant she knew the double meaning behind his words. "Katie, you know what we need to do." He says softly, a tear escaping his eye and sliding down his cheek. The numbness inside her heart tightens.

 

"Are you asking my permission to." She couldn't say the words but she pushes them out, feeling as if they were burning her throat, "to to pull the plug?" Her voice pitches high on the last word, tears silently streaming down her face. Shawn winces and Pales, swallowing a lump in his throat before answering.

"It's what he would want us to do Katie." he says looking down at the floor. Katie strides up to him and before she knows it she is Slapping him hard across the face, her anger lashing out over taking every other emotion in her.

 

"How DARE you ask me that! Do you even HEAR yourself! You are asking me if it's OK to KILL one of my BEST FRIENDS!" She says her voice Squeaky and shaky. Shawn opens his mouth to say something but she stops him with a glare. " My answer is NO! No It's not OK, It's... It's..... I cant do this anymore!" She shouts, her words becoming very true. She couldn't stand being in that room any longer, the sounds of Twinkie's machines, the smell of disinfectant, the weight of reality it is all to much for her. She turns on her heels and pushes passed Han and out the door, Once again running, somewhere anywhere, anywhere but the hospital. She reaches the exit doors and with a spilt second decision she bolts out them, the humid air blasting in her face. She takes a right onto a cement path and puts on more speed, trying to outrun her thoughts. She knew of a little tranquility pond that was on the Hospital grounds (from her time waiting for Han) and she heads to it.  Once there she runs down to the small pond and sinks to the ground, the lush grass cushioning her knees as they hit. She sits there, watching the ducks that were quacking softly to eachother in the center of the water, their squabbling quacks reaching her ears. A sob claws its way out of her mouth as she crumples into herself, curling up into the fetal position.

 

Han stares at the door that Katie just ran out of, his heart breaking. A sad sigh from behind him as him whirling around to face Shawn, striding up to him he grabs the front of his shirt and slams him up against the wall near the door. Shawn cries out in surprise, wincing as his head bounces off the wall.

 

"What the F**k man!" He shouts, trying to tug himself away from Han. Han just tightens his grip and slams him against the wall harder. " Will you STOP THAT!" Shawn hisses "You're hurting my neck!"

" I should be hurting more of you! How could you Say that to Her? can't you see she is in enough pain?" He hisses through clenched teeth, his anger boiling. Shawn's face twists in pain and he manages to take his hands and rip Han's off his shirt.

"HE is my Friend Too Remember? He was the first friend I met In Tokyo!" Han steps back, his widening, his anger leaving, but Shawn doesn't stop. "This is Hard on me too Han! Do you THINK I WANT to pull the plug on my Best friend? DO YOU? Because I don't I want to wring his shirt and yell at him to Keep fighting!" He yells his voice rising. " But this isn't about what I want or even what SHE wants. Its about TWINKIE! and you know Damn F*****G well he wouldn't want to be living in a hospital bed breathing in Air that has to be Forced down his throat! Its Not Fair to HIM to keep him like that just because WE don't want to let him go!"  he stops his rant, trying to get his breathing back to normal for he was breathing heavily. Han just sinks into the chair in the room and stares at his friend, his eyes still wide with shock. He runs his hands through his hair and looks over at Twinkie, laying unnaturally still in the bed, the oxygen machine whooshing and exhaling with every breath it pushed into his lungs. He looks back over to Shawn and spies Katie In the doorway, her face a ghostly white, her eyes large and doe like, tears streaming down her face as she stares at her brother and He knows instantly that she has heard everything Shawn has said. Before he can say anything she opens her mouth.

 

"You're right Shawn." She whispers making him Whip around to face her, his face startled.

 

"S**t I didn't see you there." he says more gentle and goes to comfort her. She shrugs him away and pushes into the room. Han opens his arms and she rushes into them, sighing when he wraps his arms around her pulling her close. Shawn just frowns. "Katie how much of that did you hear?" he asks her, pulling up the other chair to sit down across from her. She sits in Han's lap and buries her face into his chest, breathing in deeply the smell she always associated with him, Old spice and Irish spring. Sighing she turns in Han's lap until her back is to his front, giving him a small smile when he wraps his hands around her waist instinctively.

 

"All of it, and you're right," She says, getting up to go over to Twinkie. She grabs his hand, trying not to sob as she feels just how stiff it was from non use. She brings it to her lips and kisses the palm of his hand, gently placing it back on the bed. " It's not fair to him to keep him like this just because we don't want to let him go." She says, trying to be brave. She leans down and kisses his forehead under the bandage her tears pooling on his skin, "Goodbye Twinkie, I love you, and I always will. I'll never forget you." She whispers against his skin before straightening up. She turns back to her Boyfriend and brother. "He deserves to be at peace." She says looking at Shawn then at Han. "Um Han can you-"

 

"I'll go out in the waiting room, Someone's gotta call the family anyway." He says knowing what she is trying to get at. Even though Twinkie was his friend too this was something Shawn and Katie should do alone. He goes over to Twinkie and gives his hand a hard squeeze. "Save me a spot up there for Racing OK? I'll see you again someday." He whispers before leaving the room, wiping his eyes before the tears could fall. Katie and Shawn stare at Twinkie's still form for a while before Shawn finally clears his throat.

"Um I'm going to go find Doctor Montgomery, He told me to get him when we made a decision." He says and quietly slips out of the room, giving Katie a few more extra minutes to say goodbye. Katie is grateful as she drags one of the chairs right up to his bed, grabbing his hand again.

 

"Hey Twinkie, you know what, I was just thinking about Your Monster." She says her voice starting to get choked with tears but she blinks them back fast and pushes on, " She's going to miss you, So I was thinking, maybe Shawn and Neela can bring her to the states and I can keep her company for you. What do you think Twink? Do you think I am worthy enough to drive the Monster in your absence?" she says giving him a sad smile. She knows that if he could talk he would be telling her that he couldn't think of anyone better to drive his car, and be reminding her to never let ANYONE put their feet up on the dashboard. She talks about a few opther things, all the while trying hard not to think about what was going to happen once Shawn got back with the Doctor. But all too soon there was a soft knock on the door telling her that they were back. She looks up from Twinkie's face to see Shawn, Doctor Montgomery and a nurse all staring at her with sympathy. She gives Shawn a smile, puts Twinkie's hand down and pushes back her chair to stand up. "Shawn do you want to say anything?" She whispers, looking at her brother. He nods and traders places with her, picking up the hand she had put down and leans over his still form. She can see his lips moving but whatever he was saying was too quiet, meant only for his ears alone. When he stands back up there are tears in his eyes that he wipes away before stepping back to Katie. He holds out his hand and she takes it, grateful when he squeezes it hard. With him there she can be strong. The siblings turn to the Doctor who was going over the Process with the nurse. He looks up to them when he realizes they were standing there waiting for him. He clears his throat.

"Alright this is what is going to happen, Macy here when I give the OK will first stop his IV's, then stop his feeding tube, then lastly she will shut off the Oxygen machine. When that is turned off he will have about 4 minutes before this," He points to Twinkie's Heart monitor, "Will flatline, and he will be gone." He says, Katie puts her free hand over her mouth and tries to stifle her sob, Shawn squeezes her hand again, trying to lend her his strength. "Now I have to tell you, If he is still breathing after 6 minutes, we are obligated to plug the machine back in, Because it means he is breathing weakly on his own, But I have to tell you there is only a one percent chance of that happening. is there any questions?" He says. Katie shakes her head and scenes Shawn doing the same thing. Montgomery nods his head and turns to his Nurse. "Macy, begin." Macy gives them a curt nod and turns to the machines, fiddling with one.

"The IV's are now disconnected." she says as she begins to shut down another machine, "Now his feeding tubes." She steps away from those machines and heads over to the Oxygen machine. She looks over at Montgomery who looks at the brother and sister. "Its time." She whispers waiting for the OK. Katie turns her body and buries her face into Shawn's chest, unable to watch what she knows is about to happen. She feels Shawn wrap her in his arms and hold her to him, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, harsh against her ears. She feels him Nod his head giving The doctor and nurse permission and hears the final CLICK of Macy turning the machine off. The sudden absence of the noise generated by it magnifies the sound of Twinkie's heart monitor,counting out the last beats of his heart.

 

Then it Happens.

 

The monitor registers his heart beats for a few more minutes, then suddenly the loud drone of a flatline hits Katie's ears like a gun shot, her stomach dropping. Her knees give out beneath her and if it wasn't for Shawn holding her she would sink to the floor as a sob claws its way out of her throat. Shawn clings to his sister, his own body trembling with the emotions swirling inside him, he hugs her hard, as she cries her pain in to his chest, his own tears falling onto the top of her head, landing in her hair. They both cling to eachother, leaning on one another for strength. Shawn stares at the now lifeless body of his best friend and shuts his eyes tightly, the tears still managing to fall. Katie's heart shatters as she hears Doctor Montgomery calling out the time of death.

 

"Time of death Three PM January 14Th 2016".

 

Twinkie Is Gone.