Chapter Thirty-Two: Broken Promises and Broken Hearts

letting go

Katie's eye lids feel heavy against her eyes as she struggles to open them, her body felt like it had been run over multiple times. Brilliant light sears into her eyes making her wince, a small groan making its way passed her lips, rustling from the side of her bed makes her turn her head, pain explodes in her left temple making her cry out, tears manage to squeeze themselves out of her closed eyes. A hand covers hers and she opens her eyes to small slits, the blurry figure of Han comes into focus, his face drawn tight with worry and relief.

 

"You're awake," He whispers his voice filled with undisguised relief. She opens her eyes fully and gives him a weak smile that disappears when she sees the harsh glint in his eyes. she slips her hand out of his and tries to sit up, her hurting body protesting but she ignores it with gritted teeth. Once in a sitting position She watches Han go back to sitting in the bedside chair and she studies him. There were bags under his eyes, his hair greasy and unkempt due to running his hands through it, his clothes were still the same ones that she had last seen him in. He puts his hands through his hair before leaning his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor, she clears her throat  making him jump but still he doesn't look at her.

 

"How long-" her throat was sore and rusty making her clear it again before speaking. "How long have I been out, where am I?" She asks already knowing the answer to her second question. From the disinfectant smell, to the horrible florescent light above her, the thin papery sheet and the stiff bed with railing she knew she was in the hospital. :"Han what happened?" She says as panic creeps in, she couldn't remember how she had gotten here. Han just laughs a humorless laugh and finally looks at her.

 

"You don't remember?" He asks anger tinging his words making her flinch and shake her head no. He gets up and goes over to the bed, leaning on the rails so his face could be brought down close to hers. "You called me saying help, when I got home I found you face first in a pool of blood because you had hit your head on the table, You passed out because you had snorted some coke and f*****g OD-ed." He hisses, "You almost died- If I hadn't gotten there when I did, you could have- you would have-" Unspeakable Pain crosses his face as he remembers finding her broken body on the floor, tears leak down his face, he couldn't finish his sentience. She lifts her hand and places it on his cheek, trying to sooth him.

 

" I know." She says, she knew what he was trying to say, if he hadn't gotten there when he did she would have died. The pain disappears and anger flashes in his dark eyes, he snatches her hand away and throws it back down on her chest, shocking her.

 

"No You don't know Katie, You can't possibly understand." He says, his voice cold and distant. He turns and sits back down in the chair, an eerie calm had settled over him, scaring her like nothing else ever had. "I'm done." He whispers looking her in the eyes. The blood drains from her face as his words sink in, NO, he couldn't mean, He didn't mean. Her eyes widen and she opens her mouth to speak

 

"Han you-" But he waves her away, never looking away from her eyes.

 

"I'm done Katie, I cant.. NO I Wont watch you throw your life away. I can't watch another person I love die." He says and gets up. Without another word He walks out of her room. Tears spiral down her face as she watches the Man she loved walk out of her life. A nurse comes in shortly to check her vitals and see how she was doing, telling her how she was lucky to be alive. Katie wanted nothing more then to huff at that, what was life without the man she loved?

 

The rest of the day runs around her in a blur. Dom and the others come to visit worried relief filling them and the room to the point of suffocation. Dom said he wouldn't yell at her, almost dying was all the punishment she needed, but that they were going to have a serious conversation when she was able to come home .Melina came in to See her and yelled at her for twenty minutes about how she had scared her half to death and how could she relapse, tears of love and anger spilling down her cheeks. Katie goes through the motions of soothing her and telling her how sorry she as and how she wouldn't do it again. It wasn't until that night when visitation was over did she finally break down crying. The nurses said if her stomach was feeling better she could get up and take a shower in the small bathroom. She gritted her teeth and sucking in a gasp at the pain and shuffled to the shower, luke warm water spraying over her and like that the heart break flooded through her, seizing every part of her body in huge choking sobs, her heart smashing into pieces to small she thought they would never heal again. He broke his promise she thinks miserably, he promised he would never give up on her, but at the first bad moment he leaves her. She didn't know how long she stayed curl up on the bottom of the tub sobbing into the now ice cold water, but she didn't notice, a cold had already settled into her shredded heart.

 

 

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Han lays in his bed that night, listening to The others get ready for bed, Dom was in the bathroom taking a shower, Lisa was brushing her teeth or that was what she wanted them to think, Bryan was in his room getting ready and Mia was somewhere down stairs. A soft Knock on his door has him getting out of bed and padding his way to the door opening it to find Mia on the other end.

 

"Are you OK?" She asks him, worry in her brown eyes. He opens the door wider to let her in and closes the door as she sits in his computer chair. He turns around to face her and isn't ashamed to let her see him slowly slide down the door onto the floor, where he rests his head back against the door. He closes his eyes and sighs. "Han did you know before hand that she was doing this?" She asks quietly from the chair, He opens his eyes and studies her, should he say yes, should he betray Katie. No, even if he gave her up he couldn't do that to her, he had hurt her enough. he shakes his head.

 

" No, I mean I knew something was off but I never thought it was this." he lies. Mia looks at him before getting up to join him on the floor, he moves over to give her room, so both of them were leaning against the door.

 

"What happened between you two? When we went to visit after you she was like a zombie, barely there, and you could tell she was trying hard not o break down into tears." she looks at Han but he looks down, not wanting to meet her eyes. "What did you say?" He rakes his hands in his hair and sighs in defeat.

 

" I told her I was done, I'm not watching another person I love die. I can't do it, I wont be able to handle it." He says emotions choking him up and he swipes away tears "Did I do the right thing?" He asks her, genuinely in need of advise. She looks at him with her wisdom filled eyes and gives him a grim smile.

 

"They say tough love is the best for people in this situation, And if that what you needed to do to protect yourself then yeah I think you did the right thing. She is going to hurt that's a given she's going to feel all alone, but she needs to feel rock bottom before she can heal right?" she says shrugging. Han draws up his knees and rests his head on them. "Can I ask you something?" She asks quietly. bleak humor courses through as he snickers at  her.

 

"You just did." She frowns at him and swats his head.

 

"Do you still love her?" She asks him looking him dead in the eyes. He swallows the lump in his throat and nods.

 

"With every fiber of my being." He says in all honesty. "God I love her Mia, I never knew I could love anyone this much after Isabell, but I do I really do. I don't know how to help her. I'm lost." He says helplessness flooding through him as he blinks back tears. A knock on the door interupts before Mia can answer him. The two friends scramble up off the floor and he opens the door, Bryan was standing in the hall way, arms crossed, a strained look on his face.

 

"You really love her don't you." He says in wonder, it finally sinking in. He uncrosses his arms and runs a hand through his hair, letting out a shaky breath. "If you truly love her, then I'm not standing in your way anymore." He says and walks off, still in shock. Han looks at Mia and she grins at him and hugs him around the side, he hugs her back on handed.

 

"See things will get better, you'll see, night Han." She says and slips out of the room, following her husband. Han waves goodnight and closes his door, going back to lay down in his bed his mind reeling preventing him from sleeping. Mia had faith that everything would work out perfectly but he didn't have that faith. He left Katie, he had to, he couldn't sit there and watch as she destroyed her life, he couldn't handle it if something worse happened to her, he wouldn't survive it. A heavy weight crushes his chest as a strangled sob escapes him from deep within, he grabs a pillow and sobs into it trying to muffle the sounds. His heart was breaking no it was shattering. How could anything possible be better after this nightmare?

 

 

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 Katie curls up on herself in the bed, the doctors and nurses said she was stable enough that she didn't need the heart monitor attached to her anymore so she was slightly more comfortable, the IV drip unfortunately was still stuck in her elbow and itched fiercely chasing away any sleep that might take her. Memory after Memory of Han runs through her head, images of him laughing, holding her in his arms, the feel of his lips on hers, the love shining in his eyes. She remembers each one as it sears itself forever into her mind. How could he do this to her? How could he walk out on her when she needed him the most? She needed him there to help her be strong, she couldn't face it on her own, she knew she was strong but not that strong. tears leak out of the corner of her eye and lands on her pillow making the wet spot grow a fraction of an inch bigger, she swipes at the tears but more replace them, continuing their path down her cheeks. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, there was only one thing left to do.

 

She goes over the memories one more time before pushing them away in the deepest part of her mind locking them up and throwing away the key. She steels her heart against the pain and wipes away the tears, no more following them.

 

"Goodbye Han" She whispers into the empty cold hospital room as she locks away the love she held for him. Her heart hardening as a cold wind blows through her.

Author's Note

Sorry its short but I felt this chapter needed to be short to drive home the importance