Goodbye everyone

In the past month or so

I've felt it coming

A breakdown.

 

Suicidal thoughts

claimed my mind

took up residence,

and starting planting thier seeds.

 

In the past month or so

I've tried to kill myself

not once

not twice

Hell not even three times

 

A grand total of

7 times.

Overdosing on asprin

Starving myself

cutting too deep

not even getting out of the way

when a car came a little to close

Hey the latest was

Exedrin.....

................. extra strentgh

 

I need help

I know I do.

But the thing is

I dont want to.

 

I dont want to live anymore.

I hate my pathetic life.

I'm sitting here at my cubicle

taking call after call

Trying so hard not to

show my tears to the people on the phone.

 

I give up

 

I GIVE UP

 

I'm sorry everyone

I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was

 

Goodbye everyone

 

Author's Note

I wrote this (7/12/14) I was done, I had enough. I didnt want to live anymore. I know that was only a few days ago seeing as today is (7/115/14). But I as I was sitting there ready to end it I thought about my siblings and how it would be there birthday on the 14th (they are twins) . I didnt want to ruin their birthday. I didnt want to screw anything else up. So I found the strength to keep going. If only for my siblings. And I am still here. I will fight to live even though I do not want to right now. I will fight to live if only for the sake of all that love me.

Reviews

[Puffle]

FENIX!!! Don't do this! There are people that need you, people that care for you and are there for you to talk to. Go to those people, you don't have to end it like this!! Think of all the people that you will hurt leaving them behind like this, so many people will be devastated. I don't wanna lose a friend :( *hugs*

[Kieta!]

Please don't end your life! It might seem like it's not going to get better but it will!! Even if you don't want to live for yourself, live for the people that love you! They would be heartbroken if you decided to leave. My mom was in the same place you are and thanks to a good friend who got her into therapy and a good doctor who got her on medication she got past that point. It took awhile and it wasn't easy, but the process wasn't as painful as where you are now. She thanks God every day that she didn't go through with her plans to end it all

[Hawk Flight]

please dont do this nicole. Please dont!!! talk to me I'm here for you!!! if you need me I will drive my a*s up there!!! please tell me what to do. please dont do this. I'll do anything.

Please
I dont want to lose my little sister