And Then.....

She sinks to the floor,

 Her tears she cant hold back anymore.

Her Grief pours out

Uncensured, Unrestrained

Feel to roam

and rake her brain.

 

In her hand she held a razor

The familair itch begins

the slow burn

the desire.

 

She lifts her hand

Presses the cold metal

against her fragile skin

Right above her vien

 

She slices

From wrist

to elbow.

The Pain brings a smile

to her blue white lips.

 

The sleep hits her

dragging her under,

she lets the razor fall from her hand.

 

Laying back against the bed.

She closes her eyes

to rest a bit.

 

And then...........

Author's Note

this Poem was actually a suicide letter I wrote a few days ago when I was inches away from ending my life. I am still struggling with those feelings and I am still trying hard to find reasons to live. I'm sorry if this frightens some people. I dont mean to frighten people. I just speak the truth.

Reviews

[Violet's Run]

Hi I was not on site when you asked me to read this and I apologize for not getting back to you sooner.
I can relate to this experience only because, when I was sixteen I attempted suicide. It is always serious when someone entertains the thought to end their life, and it is a seductive line of thinking that is dangerous as a heart attack!! I know because I had gone on automatic pilot and I would not be here if a miracle in the form of someone out of the blue came by and found me ( totally unexpected) and took me to the hospital.. I would never have married, had my three children, for all the bad in life.. I can say. I am very, very, glad I did not go.. Your write is valuable in so many areas it can get people to talk about a subject that makes people uncomfortable.. I hope you are talking to a counselor a someone that can help you .. do not try and get over this by your self ... ok? love and light susan

[Fenix Flight]

counslers just get me agrivated. I know they help otheresbut me they just piss me off and make me more depressed. They make me so uncomfortable. I dont like talking to a complete stranger. So sadly lol I'm not talking to one. They only consuler I talk to is my poetry. I write out my feelings and its soothing. I throw myself into my books or poetry. thats the best medicine for me :-D

[Violet's Run]

and that is also very valuable... well I am always here and you do not know me other than a fellow poet and a survivor.. of a very real problem.. and dont get me wrong.. I still have days when I get down.. I am bi polar. I did not get diagnosed for twenty some years.. !! But when I did it meant at least there was a name and a shelf i could hang all my strange moods and feelings on besides just.. well I have"issues" Damn right I have issues.. I am entitled to each and every one of them for what i went through in my life.. I am not saying I go around being a moody pain in the butt.. BUT just I do not like people telling me this or than.. when they do not have a clue what IT IS they are talking about!! it is so easy for someone to say.. oh it will get better and they go on their merry way to their merry life.. when I am over there dying inside... bandaids sometimes do not help girl.. I am here if you need someone i think you are a very gifted and talented and sensitive young lady..
susan

[Fenix Flight]

I hate when people say that to me 'Oh things will get better, jsut hang in there" I'm like well CLEARLY you have never gone through depression before. Ugh it makes me so angry.

and thank you for kindness. its good to know I'm not alone. :-D

[Matching Socks]

This is so unpleasant to read. I know it's a sensitive subject.
I hope it's one of the past. But remembering our weak moment can help bring a stronger tomorrow.