A depression Episode

I try to keep it together

I try not to show it.

But I'm falling apart inside.

 

The pain is becoming harder to ignore

The tears are getting harder to push back.

 

But I keep pushing it away

I wont let it out.

There are people out there

Who are more important than me.

 

But its still there

just below the surface.

it keeps building and building.

and I fall back onto my old ways of coping

 

Cutting

puking

denying myself sleep.

 

Why does this keep happening to me?

 

But I know why.

Because I keep it bottled up
I wont let it free

 

because there are other people out there

who are much more imprtant than me

They need somone to be there for them

 

I'll be fine

I'll be ok

because I dont matter.

I'm not worth it.