Addiction

A secret I kept for so long

White powder
NO
its definitally not Flour

Clear bitter liquid
NO
It's definitally not water


Needle after needle
NO
Its definitally not a doctor's shot

All these addictions
All these Drugs
Swirlled around me

But I didnt touch them
I kept away
I had my own

Little White pills
NO
they aren't my ADHD medicine

Swallow them
Snort them
Take me away

Blissful numbness
To zoned out to think
Perfect sanctuary

The high
I could Fly
I was invincible

The Crash
the reality came back
with a harsh flash

Needing more pills
to keep the high strong
More and more

More
more
more

Suddenly
They are gone
Leaving me to my own Devices

My stomach turns agaisnt its self
Can't keep anything down
Twisting painfulling in knots

A Cold sweat breaks
Shaking so hard
can't think straight

I need them
I need them
I need them

Pray for death
Pray for pills
Pray for this to end

I need them
I need them
I need them

"oh she has the flu"
Stupid doctor
what do you know?

can't you see
my desprete need
My need for those little white pills

I
Need
THEM

Months go by
feels like eons
feels like I'm in hell

Without them I am plauged
by horror and pain
depression peaking

Slowly my body heals
My need dims
My need disapates

5
years
go by

Addiction no more
Dependent no more
Little pill free

But every now and then
I feel that itch
just below my skin

the itch for a pill
for the numbness it brings
Every now and then

No matter how sober
I will always be recovering

Because when you were addicted to pain meds
It's hard not to relapse

Author's Note

Yes I use to be addicted to Oxy when I was fourteen turning fifteen. I never told anyone. I never went to rehab, I was forsed into recovery when my friend whose pills I stole cut me out of his life becuase of his own additcion to Coke, Never knowing he was saving my life in the process. Hawk <3

Reviews

[Hawk Flight]

like I said on the other site. We need to talk about this

[Fenix Flight]

let it go hawk I told you there is nothing to talk about, its the past and it will remain in the past.

[Hawk Flight]

no it will not. they were MY pills you abused!

[Fenix Flight]

And your Point?

[Hawk Flight]

Listen here you little smart a*s sis of mine we WILL talk about this. you can count on that

[Fenix Flight]

Sure whatever you say