The Angry Willow

frustration and heartbreak

i'm going leave the stink of the city

climb into my aging Ford Explorer and drive out to the angry willow

and while i drive i'll count road kill while smoking Export A cigarettes

watching the white line whiz past and 

bellow my heart out to songs on the radio

until my f*****g throat is raw

and i won't stop until i get there...

on the way i'll drink Pilsner beer out of a coffee mug 

and swear at a*****e drivers and strung out truckers 

while bellowing out my songs until the sun drops into the horizon 

like a big red ball of burning gasoline

and i'll drive as close as my truck can get 

to that secret spot and when I stop

i'll take a piss then stagger the rest of the way

through shallow streams and bush, tripping over rocks

and swatting at mosquitoes 

until i am beneath the tangled and ancient branches

of the angry willow

where it's always cool and country quiet 

and darker than Hades this time of night

And i'll listen to the crickets chirp and the wood doves coo

while relaxing amid the incessant mating calls

of leopard frogs and rest my drunken body

beneath the bent and crooked arms of the angry willow

thinking about the b***h who broke my heart

and while the distant coyotes yip and howl 

i'll be drinking Pilsner beer out of my coffee mug

and staring at the pock-faced moon hanging

like a disinterested eye in a cloud swept sky 

high above the twisted boughs of the angry willow

and i'll count falling stars until i pass out

then wake slowly to the buzz of fat blue-bottle flies

dive bombing my face while my hang-over thrums...

and the mosquitoes swarm 

beneath the gnarled and twisted limbs of the angry willow

where my soul

hollowed and aching

becomes one with the damp earth

and rotting vegetation

and before i think too long or too hard 

about the hopelessness of my situation

i'll count my change 

and check my watch to see if the liquor stores are open 

and while i wait i'll listen to belligerent crows

squawking overhead not giving a s**t if i'm living or dead

Author's Note

Photo credit: Michael Clark

Reviews

[DaughterNature]

It's interesting, and some of the repetition is really good. The coarseness of it is great, but there are a few times where some word choices seemed too 'fancy' for the coarseness of the overall piece. Also, because I'm a fiend for mechanics, I'll say that the verbs are not all in the same tense - fix it!

[Chace]

Very raw. I can just feel the evident pain. Very well done.

[felioness]

Thanks for the read and POSITIVE COMMENT!

[Dilan Gunawardana]

I love the raw honesty and bitterness of this piece. The fact that there are no commas and that the i's aren't capitalized gives it an angry, muttering, drunken rambling quality. Excellent work :)

[felioness]

Thanks so much for the read and review!

[Ashira Macy]

I really loved how brutally honest this whole thing was, a true inner monologue, no censorship at all. We all have those times when we need to escape to that special place where we can yell and scream and cry and curse people's insensitive ways, and you captured this kind of moment perfectly.

[felioness]

Thank you! You totally got it! Thanks for the read.

[B-poet]

The candid sarcasm gives this poem a unique perspective at life's nuisances as they relate to the written point of view you've displayed so well here. Nice work. An enjoyable read. :)

[felioness]

Thank you! I am glad you took the time to read it and leave a comment!

[The Twin Arenas]

this is written from a man's point of view, yeah? Maybe that's a really stupid f*****g question.

This is great. I could see everything. It's so full of life, and I don't mean, like, bouncy or something. I mean full of f*****g trees and flies and crows and vegetation and crickets and leopard frogs. It's a poem seething with life, that terminates in the narrator giving voice to the crows. it's big rural circle of life s**t.

a really impressive thing here. thanks for the read. I like it a lot.

[The Twin Arenas]

oh, the reason I asked if it was written from a man's point of view is because it's hard, for me anyway, to give a voice to a female character or something in a piece. it takes a lot of work, I find. So, I commend you for the job you did here.

[felioness]

Yes I did do it from a man's perspective and no, there is no such thing as a stupid question! Well, not in this case anyway! Thanks! Loved your comment!

[C. Rose]

Congratulations!
This piece is a finalist in Promote Me!V.
As your reward, I have sent 115 read requests on behalf of this piece.

Voting is open until 10/15/14.
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Promote-Me%21-V-%28Experimental%29/50315/
Good Luck!

[felioness]

Wow!Thank You!!!

[C. Rose]

Well done.
At first I flinched because of the lowercase i's, but it is clearly intentional and adds to the raw feeling of wandering/searching/swamp/living-death.

Willow's certainly are angry :)

Keep writing!

[Angi]

There are days (boy, there are days) when I wanna do something very close to this. Just take off and leave it behind, cuss and drink and b***h and moan out on the road. I don't have an angry willow with outstretched limbs to wallow in, though. Makes me wanna go exploring. Angi~

[felioness]

Thank you Angi for the read and comment!

[Walter]

this is a wonderfully written piece that could easily be turned into a novella. excellent write!!

[felioness]

Wow! Everlasting thank yous!

[Walter]

you are so very welcome, it was a pleasure to read