A Story

A poem about feeling unloved

You know me

But you don’t know me

You know how I think but you don’t know my thoughts

You see me

But you don’t see me

You see me smile but you don’t see everything it hides

All my life I’ve been told I’m unwanted

All. My. Life. no one has once stopped to ask me if i was alright

I’ve lived a life of torture

A life of pain

It affects me in unseen ways

Ways that can be seen if the time and effort was taken to notice

How I act

How I’ve changed

Six to sixteen

Ten years

Ten. Years is how long I’ve dealt with this behind closed doors

When the few friends I had found out

They built up a wall

To help me

Hide me

As I look around at all the happy smiling faces,

I wonder how many of them are actually like me

Looking for a way out of the pain and ready to do anything to get to that exit

What I’ve been through

Its painful

Disturbing

Deadly

I take all of who I am

And put it aside for them

Never getting anything in return

You don’t understand

You CAN’T understand

No one can understand till they’ve been through it

And if you have, then I’m sorry

It’s a story that is no fairytale

No happy ending where I find my prince

There’s too much self-hate

Self-Pity

I’m a Masochist who can’t quit

You wouldn’t know that though

You throw dirty looks my way

Whisper behind my back

Acting like I don’t know it happens

When confronted you say

‘It’s just a joke.’

‘We didn’t mean it.’

‘Lighten up.’

Well understand this

If it was you in my place,

Tell me just how you would feel

If you had to hear the whispers and rumors everyday

Would you finally understand and quit the lies that you send my way

This story isn’t false

I know for a fact that it’s not

You’re probably asking how

I know because the story is mine

And it had to be told

Author's Note

This poem is true