dino and me

we undressed each other

with whiskey and wild conversation

zipped our bellies together

with whiskey and wild conversation

how does the old adage go?

strapped moonlight to our backs

     and carried it across the cornfields.

no, that's the whiskey talking--

     i just made that up.

carried pieces of soft sacred light

into the wombs of the other, at night

she read poetry to help me sleep.

Author's Note

note following strict grammatical rules, only trying to reflect the rhythm of the poem through punctuation...wondering about the last comma before "at night" critique away~

Reviews

[Trigorin]

This is really very nice.
If you really wanted you could make that comma into a semicolon but it's fine the way it is.
You have a vivid image and a very distinct writing style. Very well done.