swelling daydream of the moon

practicing the rant style poem... ranting about the natural grace and celebration in free speech but how it's stifled and confined in society... schools especially...

what is it about the freedom of speech, innate: holy scripture and orchestral wings and the wind's low song that welcomed dies in kindergarten rooms with beige walls and times-tables and chemistry over taught, spoken-- 

(a sweet whisper, a swelling daydream of the moon, mama's morning coo) 

Love. what is it about that ecstatic song? 

"step right up, wild free melodies! 

let me pin in your pitch, stitch in those mad sweet sunday voices--no this won't hurt--zip up a bit here--pull in a tad there--redress your universe in some blessed navy blue somber organ of sorts and all praise--! tuck in that easy serenade, tie a nice belt around that naked voice of yours, 

(oh yes, i've heard your wild hearts' footstep drums upon the floor in the shower singing so loud. oh child, you're using up all the hot water!)

all better." 

shout loud your hushed hallelujahs, sweetie. 

i want to whisper in each ear as if returning voice to voice, 

gentle at first, i've been a mad hushed hallelujah too. 

and louder, 

and within these walls we can pluck the polyps

from the throats that coated us with such rigidity to begin with-- 

take each tumor and make of it a floating rainbow bubble. 

breathe your song; breathe it loud. 

 what is it. about the freedom of speech! 

so ancient and so true that we bury with the passing days.

Author's Note

"shitty first draft" here, wondering if the social idea that education can be shifted can be expanded upon in this poem or focused more.... feel free to critique away, grammar, opinions, whatever... i'm feeling a little lost with this one. thanks

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad, but check your spelling and grammar, and the ending doesn't make much sense. Perhaps take out that last line? At any rate, it's easy to tell what you're getting at, and I think you've presented it fairly well. Your imagery is very good but it does get somewhat cluttered at times - I'd consider either cutting down on this somewhat or expanding it more, either one would help, I think.